One of our favorite ways to establish and maintain a healthy family identity is by taking family vacations. The family vacation allows every family member an opportunity to get away from the daily routines and enjoy each other’s company outside of familiar routines and surroundings. It allows everyone a chance to recharge together, to build lasting memories and strengthen bonds with one another.
We began vacationing without our boys when they were very young. During those years, the vacation was mainly for us to reconnect and get a break. We were even fortunate enough to have family watch our precious babies while we went away by ourselves for a long weekend or, sometimes a week. In those days, our boys benefited from a rejuvenated Mom and Dad because we came home with a more positive and joyful perspective. And they got to spend fun time with family away from those faces they saw and voices they heard every day!
As our boys got older, going to Disneyland, Legoland, Beaches, and National Parks allowed us to rejuvenate together and share many wonderful experiences which, in turn, created many Howard Family Traditions. For example, we always have to stay somewhere that provides breakfast waffles or pancakes; we always have to have an afternoon ice cream cone (Waffle cone preferred); we always have to take a family photo for our annual Christmas photocard.
Some of you may be thinking,” Yeah that sounds great, but we don’t live near family, we can’t afford to go to Disneyland and our kids will never sit still for an extended car trip let alone traveling by plane.” Well the truth is our boys were airplane screamers, car sickness barfers, and we couldn’t always afford Disneyland. But none of that stopped us from going on vacation. The benefits of vacation are just too important to our family. Besides, it gave us some parenting opportunities to teach into the moment about finances and proper behavior in various settings.
These are some vacation tips that helped us and some that our friends have used successfully.
We don’t have family near us or can’t impose upon them
Travel to visit family and see if they can watch the kiddos for a couple of days while mom and dad go on a mini-vacation at a nearby hotel or resort. For our boys, it became two vacations in one!
Create a swap situation with some close friends you trust. Have them watch your kids for a long weekend and then you reciprocate.
We can’t afford a vacation right now
Vacations don’t have to be elaborate and shouldn’t break the bank. It could be as simple as a day trip to a museum or going camping for a couple of days. The point is to break away from the daily grind and enjoy being together.
Some of our family vacations were Christmas presents – Disneyland/Legoland for example. We would cut back significantly on Christmas gifts for the boys and each other and use that savings towards our vacation. Our boys actually liked this a lot because the anticipation and planning of the trip was almost as much fun as the trip itself. It also allowed us to demonstrate the value of money to the boys and teach them about the expense involved.
Our children don’t travel well and would never sit still long enough
Your children will never travel well nor sit long enough if you don’t teach them how. They need the experiences in order to learn. They need a mom and dad to encourage them to right and proper behavior in various situations.
During the crying baby years, we would try and book our seats in the last row. That way we could get up and move around easily if we needed to.
For car sickness, we would gradually lengthen the time on our road trips. We would also try to travel during nap time or early mornings so the boys could sleep for most of the trip.
One last important comment on family vacations, please don’t try and make them perfect. They rarely are! We’ve had car accidents, broken collarbones, terrible weather, pooping and peeing accidents to name but a few “disasters”. In those moments, you’re thinking nothing can go right and the whole vacation is a bust. We’ve discovered that the opposite can be true. These “disasters” gave us the opportunity to show our boys how to respond well in challenging situations. Seeing how Mom and Dad handled adversity, first hand, is a powerful teacher. These “disasters” are now classic memories that add character to those particular family vacations.
Please email us and let us know if you have any other vacationing tips that have worked for you! We’ll post the suggestions on our OneFamily Blog!
Blessings to your family,
Shelly and Rich Howard