Are you the best husband or wife you can be?  Are you the best parent you can be? Are you the best son or daughter, brother or sister, friend, employer, employee, volunteer you can be?

Are you the best version of you?

Last year, in our New Year’s Resolution letter, we asked you to consider creating various communities as part of your resolutions.  And, if you are a consistent reader of OneFamily letters, you know we actually took our own advice and it blessed us beyond measure in 2016!  Individually and collectively, as a family, we are significantly better and healthier now than we were this time last year.  That’s because we were intentional about creating community.

This year the Howard family is focusing on the idea of creating the best version of ourselves.  As we put together our resolutions for 2017, we are adding this thought and question to each of our goals, “Does this help me to reach my potential and create the best version of myself?”  And it begins with our relationships (Communities)!  We believe that you cannot reach your potential nor create the best version of yourself without being others oriented first.

To further illustrate this idea, here are some suggestions you may wish to consider for your own resolutions:

In order to reach my potential and become the best version of myself I need to…

Create a strong and healthy marriage by being the best spouse I can be for my husband/wife.

  • I’m going to commit to intentionally speaking my spouse’s love language at least once a day.
  • Not only am I going to do CouchTime 4-5 times a week, but I’m going to listen first before speaking.
  • Each month I’m going to ask my spouse, “What is something I can do, for you, to improve our marriage?”
  • I’m going to attend a marriage conference to learn some new relational insights.
  • I’m going to find a marriage coach or mentor couple that can help us make our relationship stronger.

Create a thriving family.

  • I’m going to attend a parenting class and develop a successful parenting strategy with my spouse.
  • I’m going to guard my tongue and tone with my children.
  • I’m going to commit to Family Fun Night.
  • I’m going to look for ways to create a trusting relationship with my children.
  • I’m going to make sure that my spouse and I are on the same page with the kids (CouchTime again!).

Heal and improve my relationships and those communities that help me to grow and mature.

  • I’m going to extend grace to my parents and love them for who they are.
  • I’m going to reconnect with my siblings and move past the issues that divide us.
  • I’m going to join or start a men’s/women’s small group to gain encouragement and ideas for personal growth.
  • I’m going to stop being cynical, gossipy, and a negative influence with my friends and co-workers.
  • Regardless of personality conflicts with my employer/employees, I’m going to focus on doing the best work I can for the organization.

Strengthen and build my own mind, body, and soul.

  • Read 6 books this year.
  • Go or do something I wouldn’t normally consider – Attend a ballet, opera or theater, visit a museum or exhibition, hike a “fourteener” or start a bible study group.
  • Go walking 4-5 times a week or attend a fitness/yoga class consistently.
  • Eat gluten free and/or organic foods, not because I have to, but because it makes me feel better.
  • Get up at 5:00 am and start my day with quiet time – Journaling, reading the Bible, praying, reviewing your resolutions, plan my day.

 As you evaluate and make your resolutions, we suggest you select only one or two goals per relational category (marriage, family, friends, personal, etc..).  This will keep you from getting overwhelmed and help you stay focused on the idea of becoming the best version of yourself.  As you progress throughout the year, you can and should re-evaluate and, possibly, add to your goals.

Lastly, here are some final tips to help you succeed in in your resolutions/goals:

No one is perfect – Perfectionism leads to procrastination, or worse, abandonment. You need to be characterized by achieving your resolutions and goals.  Don’t beat yourself up or abandon your goal(s) because you have a bad day, week or challenging month.  Remember that you have a whole year to be characterized by creating the best version of yourself.

Sustain your motivation – Read these weekly letters, ponder our daily quotes, meet regularly with your small group for accountability or attend a retreat.  Find something that will serve you, all year long, to keep your motivation going.

Track your progress – With each resolution or goal, identify the steps or milestones that lead to the success of that resolution or goal. Then weekly, monthly or quarterly, track your progress and ask yourself the question, ”Am I reaching my potential and becoming the best version of myself?”

Blessings to you and your family for 2017!

Shelly and Rich