Charts can be a helpful tool for parents and a fun way to establish schedules or routines, initiate responsibilities, and reiterate expectations. We began using charts when Trevor and Alex were in Preschool/Pre-K. Our first chart had cartoon clip art showing morning and nighttime routine images – Brushing teeth, getting dressed, making the bed, praying, etc. As the boys got older, we used charts to initiate household responsibilities (skills and chores) and reiterate expectations along with opportunities to earn a reward or money. By the time Trevor reached late elementary school age, we had finished using charts altogether because they were no longer needed and had served out their usefulness.
It is important to mention that, while charts and rewards can be a very helpful aid, they can also become an ineffective crutch when overused or used improperly. For example, overusing charts can easily turn a fun and effective reward system into an entitlement/bribing system that undermines proper behavior. Here are some chart rules and ideas and we used over the years to maintain our “Charting Perspective!”
Ground rules we had for all charts
Short term – We only used charts once or twice a year as a teaching tool and for only 4-8 weeks at a time.
Consistent review and discussion – Since our charts were only for a short period of time, we made sure that we were consistent to review, discuss and explain the reasons behind each of our chart items every night after dinner. This was usually a great time of non-conflict (TONIC) for our family and both boys looked forward to “Chart Time!”
Realistic and achievable – Each chart had 3-4 specific things that were age appropriate skills and responsibilities for the boys – younger Alex set the table while older Trevor loaded the dishwasher. But we also had 3-4 items they both could do like set their clothes out the night before school, have their backpack ready, etc…
Reward/Payday – When the boys were young, depending upon the incentive, they could earn a Lego, pick out a board game for family fun night, or go to IHOP for dinner (they loved the novelty of having breakfast for dinner)! As they got older, they could earn spending money toward our family summer vacation. It also gave us an opportunity to teach into that moment about tithing, saving, investing, and spending!
Future chart = new standard – Our boys knew that once we completed a chart, they were expected to continue with the responsibilities as if the chart was still on our kitchen wall. They understood, that they needed to be characterized by consistently doing the things from the previous chart before we would start a new one.
Chart ideas
Schedule and routine charts – We used these charts when our boys were in the toddler years up to entering kindergarten. This is when we pasted clip art onto a chart to graphically demonstrate our morning and nighttime routine expectations. We used it effectively for potty training, washing hands prior to meals and preparing to go to school and bed as well.
Responsibility or new skills charts – When the boys were in elementary school, we had fun using these to initiate new responsibilities or chores like keeping your room clean & dusted, doing the dishes, collecting and taking out ALL the trash, putting your laundry away in the proper drawers, etc.
Reiterate or establish certain behavior charts – Please be very careful with using a reward chart for behavior! Charts should not be a substitute for basic parenting. Proper and right moral behavior should be a standard, everyday expectation in your family. We never used a chart to correct wrong behavior like ignoring mom/dad’s instruction or to bribe them for positive behaviors like behaving in school. When the boys were older, we used a chart to remind them about being timely and initiate proper eating habits (e.g., using their knife and fork appropriately).
There are a lot of charts you can download, but we made a big deal of making our own. When the boys were ready, we would go to the party or craft store and buy poster board and stickers. Then we would make the chart together as a family. We used charts as an enjoyable means to complement our parenting initiatives and it encouraged our boys.
In the course of your parenting, you may know that you need to get creative. Lecturing or always using the same forms of encouragement can quickly become ineffective. This is no different than a teacher who is constantly challenged to keep the curriculum fresh and engaging for their students. That’s when using rewards and charts, periodically, can help!
Blessings to your family,
Shelly and Rich