When our boys were young, we mistakenly thought our summers would eventually get less busy as they got older.  Between summer vacations, sports, camps and family visits, our summer schedule got completely booked… and this summer is no different with our teens.  And while the anticipation of it all is very exciting and fun, we made sure to always schedule Family Fun Night in the midst of all the busyness.

For us, Family Fun Night is an intentional evening of fun in the fellowship of family.  That means we didn’t talk about school, the boys sports, home projects, or use it as a time to parent during a time of non-conflict either.  It is all about having fun together with the goal of building inter-dependent relationships and furthering our family identity.

We picked Friday nights as our Family Fun Night, because Rich was usually home on Fridays if he was traveling on business during the week and there were no conflicts with sports or other upcoming weekend events or projects.  It was also a great way to end the week and was something to look forward to.  Sometimes we planned our night during the week and sometimes Friday night during dinner.

Over the years our Family Fun Nights have evolved.  Here is a snapshot of the characteristics and what our Family Fun Nights looked like at various ages:

Ages 3-5

Chutes & Ladders, Candyland, and other age appropriate board games.

Playing Legos or building new train layouts for Thomas the Tank Engine.

Drawing pictures of fun characters from books, videos, and, of course, sports.

Family night was about 2 hours and then an hour of wind down with baths and bedtime stories.

During the week (CouchTime!) we would figure out what we would do for Family fun Night

Ages 6-11

Guitar Hero contest, Wii Fit games and other video games we could do as a family.

Special movie night with treats, blankets, and all the lights in the house turned off.

Cards, Game of Life, Monopoly and other longer lasting board games – sometimes these would extend to an additional night!

Family night was about 3-4 hours depending if the boys could sleep in on Saturday. Getting to stay up later on Friday night was an additional treat.

During the week each of the boys took turns planning Family Fun Night.  There was no complaining if you didn’t care for the activity, because the following week you would get your turn to plan.  This also allowed them to be personally invested in a meaningful family activity.

Ages 12 +

Dinner and movie out or Pizza/Movie marathon (We love movies!).

Card games, board games, and video games.

Play sports in the front yard or over at the school – Boys v. Mom & Dad and other team combinations.

Family nights are less structured and more spontaneous.  Instead of Friday night, we might do a Saturday afternoon/evening but we would still call it family night.  This would allow for a longer Family Fun Night.

During the week we would still take turns planning Family Fun Night, but sometimes we would all just come to a mutual consensus.

While all of this may appear very easy to implement, the truth is, we were not perfect with Family Fun Night.  There would be times when we would go a few weeks without having Family Fun Night.  There would be times of discontent and misbehavior during Family Fun Night and we would have to end early.  But the Howards are definitely characterized by having Family Fun Night.  The goal is always to enjoy each other’s company, to be intentional in prioritizing time to be together, and being protective of our Family Identity.  It should be a relationship oasis for a few hours where there are no judgements, evaluations, or harboring of earlier distractions or misdeeds; where bonds of trust and family identity are nurtured.

Ultimately, Family Fun Night should:

  • Build relational trust and security in the bonds of the family.
  • Build memories that are “treasures of the heart”.
  • Help to teach being thoughtful in the planning, thinking of others and putting differences aside for the benefit of the entire family having fun together.
  • Build strong family identity which helps to reduce the pull of negative peer pressure and societal pressure.

What does your Family Fun Night Look like?

Blessings to your family,

Shelly and Rich