Dear God …show me a different way!

We love this letter from our friends the Carter family. It speaks to the everyday challenges and obstacles we face as parents; that it is an ongoing journey which also takes ongoing equipping and encouragement to sustain us in those transitional seasons of life!

Dear Journal,

Kash and I reached a low point in our relationship yesterday. I screamed “shut up!” at him, which shocked him, and the littles. And hours later, he repeated it and told me to shut up, which threw me into a spiral. My temper has manifested in ways I am ashamed to even document on these pages. Why do I do it? Why do I lash out? Kash mirrors my behavior so close, I am to blame for our challenges. Dear God, I beg of you please show me a different way. Fill me with grace and patience and give me the tools for parenting these boys. I want to be an amazing woman of God and I am currently so far from it. Humbly Yours, RC

When I wrote this journal entry, I was experiencing a major transition in my life, moving with my young family from California to Colorado. Transitioning from a full time career to a stay at home mom. There were a lot of ‘firsts’ for me. Learning to manage the home was a big change and a lot more work than most people realize. And transitioning to spending a lot of time with the kids – all my time and all my focus. After another night of fighting over bedtime routines and basic everyday tasks, we just spiraled in a way that was sadly becoming normal and scared me to death.

This is not what I had envisioned for our family or envisioned for me as a mother. I knew I needed help, I needed real advice, not the kind of advice you get from a girlfriend or a sister, but real, proven, practical, time-tested, bible backed advice. I asked the vice principal at our Christian school for a recommendation for a family therapist. She provided one, but also provided the link to the church’s midweek experience as she was familiar with some parenting classes that were offered through the church. I found it, signed up right away and began attending at the end of January. The course was taught by Rich and Shelly Howard of One Family and I’ve been continuously enrolled in every class they’ve taught since January of 2018. I’ve learned so much. I got my husband on board with the methodologies and philosophies. I’ve also attended with him and without him. I continue to absorb so much from the Howards and the Marrs and from fellow parents when we discuss what we’re each going through at classes or workshops.

Our conversations regularly include discussions of who we are as the Carter Family and what our standards for behavior are. We’ve developed core principals and I’m working on publishing them to be displayed in our home. We’ve been able to teach our children about certain values and principals and practice etiquette. These are all topics that are unpacked in the various classes that Howard’s teach. I also used resources from One Family to get my middle toddler quickly potty trained!

I’m not saying that we don’t have our struggles, that we don’t find ourselves frustrated over outbreaks of emotion from our 8 year old son or our toddler boys. But now, eleven months later we’re at least equipped with greater understanding and encouraged with a stronger foundation. We have a sustainable road map with scriptural backing that leads to where we want to go. We are much wiser in understanding the important building blocks to get there. And so, when things get tough we can recall the similar example from class and we are better equipped to address it.

The Carters are big supporters of One Family and the knowledge they bring to parents. We will always participate with them and advocate for them.

We have many classes, workshops and events coming up.  These online opportunities allow us to connect with families (like the Carters), from all parts of our country and world, to offer you resources and encouragement that will help you be the parent and leader you desire to be for your family.