When we took our first parenting class, our kids were nearly 5 and 2 years old.  Since then, we never stopped revisiting and reinvesting in the practical parenting principles we learned. Initially we were completely overwhelmed with all the things we wanted/needed to implement with our boys.  We learned over the years that focusing on one or two concepts at a time was manageable and helped us to make the progress we desired with much less discouragement.

As you contemplate your parenting goals and strategy for 2023, here is a simple monthly guide to help you to implement many of the concepts we address in our classes and Tuesday Letters.  Every family is different with different pressing needs, so rearrange or change the monthly concepts/ideas as needed.

Begin by evaluating those specific issues you are working on with each child. Next, add that to the context of the monthly guide.  For example, if we are “working on self control”, then for January we would work on our schedule/routine to help our child (and us!) gain improved self control.

  • January – Get back to your family routine after the holidays and evaluate what is working and what isn’t. Make sure to schedule those important tasks that help you to stay connected – Couchtime, Date Nights, Family Fun Nights and time for rest!

          Maybe retake a class or make plans to attend a workshop/conference.

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  • February – Make Love Languages a priority. Retake the love language test as a couple and as a family (we did this every year). This could be a family fun night with each of you sharing how you appreciate having your love language expressed. We had a love list on our refrigerator as a reminder.  Your kids will learn and come to appreciate that love is something we give intentionally to affirm each other and not take for granted.
  • March – Revisit your Core Family Values. As the kids grow you can get their input about values they would like to add to your list.  We typically had 5-6 core values that were foundational, for us, as the Howards.  We added a family Scripture verse too (Mark 12:30-32).   Some families even create a family mission statement.  All these things are Family Identity builders that draw the family together in a meaningful way.
  • April – Re-evaluate how family members are speaking to one another and talk about the importance of Speaking Life inside and outside your home. Speaking Life is critical to building your child’s self-concept, keeping your home harmonious and life-giving, and to providing your children with the best environment to learn and grow up in.  We found this to be very impactful as our kids became increasingly aware of the contrast of our family identity and worldly culture.
  • May – Talk about temperaments and how each person is wonderfully made. Temperaments are inborn traits.  Understanding temperaments helps parents have more understanding for one another and each child. For kids, to be loved for how they were made fulfills one of their deepest human needs.
  • June – Father’s Mandate Tune Up: Dads have 8 practical ways they can build and reinforce a trusting relationship with their kids. Rich would put all 8 things on his calendar throughout the year as reminders.
  • July – Talk about siblings as BFF’s. Summer is a great time to look at how the kids are doing in treating their siblings respectfully, with kindness, empathy, and friendship, as they would their best friends.  When our kids were little we taught the Golden Rule, and then as they grew we talked about how God made them siblings and they honor Him in how they show love and respect to one another.  We talked about ourselves as siblings to our sisters too.  There will always be some quarrels and conflict with children, but purposefully strengthening the bonds between them now will carry them into adulthood.
  • August – A new school year and a great time to revisit First Time Obedience and Self Control. Both concepts are significant to the happiness and success of children throughout their life.
  • September – Reconsider healthy boundaries with technology in your home.  What makes sense for the age, temperament, and moral maturity of each child. Parents should also look at their own screen use and model self-control.  It’s important to have times that you all are free from your technology each day – when eating, when it’s time to sleep, during family time, etc… Pay attention to how screen time is impacting moods, sleep, behavior, school/work performance and relationships.
  • October – Work on teaching respect for people and property. Most courtesies are not intuitive, so we need to work on them with our kids.  Role playing works great and can be a lot of fun!
  • November – Practice table manners for all different types of dining situations. Table manners reflect personal character. Do your children know how to manage themselves at a buffet, in a fine dining situation at a restaurant or at someone’s home?  Would they wait to eat until mom or the hostess sits down and starts to eat and know why they should?
  • December – Create opportunities for each child to be generous. Teach the virtue of giving and generosity by allowing your child to use their own money to buy a gift for a sibling, donate to church/special cause or even giving time, to serve as a family, by providing for a family in need. This is the season of giving and it’s a natural time grow your child’s empathetic and generous spirit.

We have found that focusing on one or two things each month made our parenting strategy more effective and parenting goals much more achievable.  Then, at the end of the year, we could see what a difference it had made for every member of the family!  We hope you make it a great 2023 – month by month and one parenting principle at time!

Blessings to your family and have a wonderful 2023!

Shelly & Rich Howard

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