Life is busy. With school, kids’ sports, and various activities, our daily life can easily feel hectic and overwhelming. Picking up Chic-fil-a on the way from practice can easily become the norm, rather than the exception, for getting everyone in the family fed. However, we discovered that Family Mealtime can actually make a significant impact on your family.
Current research shows that having a shared Family Mealtime has tremendous benefits for marriages and families. A Cornell University study reported that families who share meals together, at least 3 meals per week, will:
- Have improved psychological well-being
- Increase academic achievement
- Establish healthy communication
- Significantly decrease the risk for eating disorders or becoming overweight
- Create “space/margin” from a hectic day
- Build healthy relationships among all family members
- Develop feelings of closeness and comfort
When we took a step back and looked at our mealtime habits, we discovered we were accommodating the hecticness of our lives and not our “familiness.” All this changed when we intentionally decided to be characterized by having shared family mealtimes.
Here are some ideas to help you to either get started or rejuvenate your own family mealtime.
1) Establish a welcoming environment – Make it a time of non-conflict so that everyone feels comfortable to share their thoughts, ideas, and feelings. What does it mean to be a good and/or active listener? Do Mom and Dad need to guard their tongue and tone, especially after a hard or challenging day?
2) Establish realistic expectations – Shoot for consistency not perfection. Perfection will NEVER happen. Maybe start with 2 shared mealtimes a week with the goal to have 5 shared dinners and maybe a couple of lunches and breakfasts. Know that every mealtime will not always go as planned. Maybe your 2 year old decides that today is the day they will launch all their food everywhere. Or your teenager decides that their teacher is “terrible” and will, therefore, not talk at dinner because their weekend has been ruined. All of that is fine (of course you are working on those issues) and bad days and bad mealtimes will happen. Just remember to move on and know that if you are consistent, the good mealtimes will become more frequent.
3) Establish family mealtime boundaries – No toys, games, cell phones at the table. No interrupting or speaking over someone. No talking with your mouth full. Choose to express yourself with life giving words. Choose to gain understanding before commenting or expressing an opinion.
4) Make it fun – Discuss your favorite family traditions and establish some new ones or talk about and plan a family trip. Below shows our Dinner Conversations Cards. We take turns randomly selecting a card for discussion. Some cards have Bible verses we discuss, some have quotes similar to our OneFamily daily email quotes we discuss, and some have thought provoking questions to answer. For example: Name each family member’s best quality. Who would you like to have dinner with and why? Who’s your favorite fictional character and why?
Family Conversation Cards
https://onefamilyhwl.org/product/family-conversation-cards/
5) Watch out for traps and buzzkills – Mini lectures and sermons can be appropriate for certain mealtimes, but they need to be rarely given (see #4 above!). When the audience is captive, it can be a huge temptation to go off on a soliloquy or monologue. Just be aware that the “brilliant wisdom” you are about to share could be a major buzzkill to the mealtime mood and fall on deaf ears as a result.
As we have mentioned in previous letters, our family mealtime was instrumental in dealing with many things: behavioral issues, seeking forgiveness from a wronged family member, practicing proper mealtime manners and how to communicate appropriately. We’ve also had many meaningful and candid discussions about sex, drugs, peer pressure, politics, theology, and relationship dynamics. Intentionally deciding to have Family Mealtimes in the midst of a busy life allowed us to all grow individually and together in the process… building the home environment we desired!
Blessings to your family,
Shelly and Rich
_______________________________________________________________
Parenting from The Tree of Life
Comprehensive Online Parenting Class in 10 Sessions!
Tuesdays – Starting January 20, 2026
6:30-7:30pm PT, 7:30-8:30pm MT, 8:30-9:30pm CT, 9:30-10:30 ET
Early Bird Discount Pricing Available!
https://events.humanitix.com/pftol-jan2026
Parenting from The Tree of Life is a powerful course designed to help parents build strong, healthy relationships with their children (ages 5–12)—a crucial stage for shaping lifelong outcomes.
We’re offering a special 10-session series highlighting key lessons from the original 18-week course. Whether you’re looking for a refresher or a fresh start, this is a great opportunity to strengthen your parenting toolbox and create a practical game plan for your family.