Perfection is an impossible standard. Yet, in our results driven society, its amazing how the pursuit of perfection continues to be coveted in almost every aspect of life even though it derails us in our pursuits. The pursuit of perfection often leads to disappointment, shame, frustration, and feelings of failure. However, the pursuit of excellence leads to accomplishment, confidence, contentment, and feelings of fulfillment. This distinction was not only something we passed along in parenting our boys, but it is something we personally take to heart in all our endeavors.
“The quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor.” – Vince Lombardi
Defining the difference between good versus great is one idea that continues to serve our family well as we pursue excellence in our lives. For us, the difference between good and great is consistency. There are many examples out there that illustrate this point, but it is easily seen (and explained to our boys) in sports. Good athletes become great athletes the more consistent they are in their sport. Great baseball players consistently hit the ball, great quarterbacks consistently throw accurate passes, Olympic sprinters consistently have quality starts… you get the idea.
If we work toward becoming characterized by being consistent in pursing excellence, we can move from good to great in anything. Consider these examples in some common areas of life:
Academics – We can move from being a good student to a great student the more consistently we apply ourselves to studying.
Parenting – We can move from being a good parent to a great parent the more consistently we thoughtfully guide our children with discipline – Encouragement and Correction.
Marriage – We can move from having a good marriage to a great marriage the more consistently we communicate effectively with each other. Remember Couchtime and Love Languages?!?!
Finances – We can move from having a good financial situation to a great financial situation the more consistently we stick within our budget.
Health – We can move from having good health to great health when we consistently workout and eat a healthy diet.
Easier Said Than Done
These examples may appear obvious and overly simplified, it does help us to illustrate our point. It also reminds us that while it is easy to understand how consistency benefits us, it is also difficult to follow through with our good intentions. The greatest enemy of consistency is “the excuse” – real and rationalized. We know we need to go for our morning run, BUT “it was a late night” or “I need to answer a couple of emails.” Or how about when we need work on an issue with our child or spouse, BUT “I can deal with it later, It was a crazy day or I don’t have the energy.“
In our desire to seek the way of excellence and move from good to great in that pursuit, we need to develop habits of discipline to fight the “excuse enemy.” In his book, The Power of Habit, Charles Duhigg tell us that it takes approximately 3 weeks to create a new habit or routine. So it stands to reason that if I wanted to move my overall health from good to great, for example, I would create a new habit that would help me to be more consistent and fight off potential excuses with my diet and exercise. Or perhaps it’s making the Couchtime habit a priority to move our marriage and parenting from good to great – like it did for us!
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” ―Aristotle
Pursuing excellence and understanding the difference between good and great are Core Family Values for us and a part of our Family Identity. It continues to be an ongoing conversation within our family as it defines our character and who we are as individuals and collectively as the Howards. We’re definitely not perfect and sometimes fall short in these pursuits, but we are characterized by being resilient and encouraging one another.
“If you are going to achieve excellence in big things, you develop the habit in little matters. Excellence is not an exception, it is a prevailing attitude.” – Colin Powell
Blessings to your Family,
Shelly and Rich