When our boys were about 6 and 4 years old we began a new family tradition that helped us engage in meaningful conversations with them. Little did we know when we started how this tool would create many wonderful memories, help us communicate more effectively with our kids and take our parenting efforts and relationships with each of them to a higher level!
One of Rich’s favorite memories growing up was visiting his grandparents and reading from a small box of bible verse cards that was on their kitchen table. At mealtimes, they would take turns choosing a card from the box and talk about the verse while they ate. It was from this childhood memory that we created Howard Family Conversation Cards. However, the cards we made not only included favorite bible verses, but inspirational quotes and thought-provoking questions.
Our family conversation cards totally transformed our meals together. It got our boys talking and all of us communicating well and having fun. We also noticed our kids’ mealtime behavior improved dramatically and they no longer rushed through our meals.
Over the years, we’ve shared with parents in our parenting classes and workshops the impact these conversation cards had on our family and our family identity. So we are now excited to announce that we have created Family Conversation Cards and have them available as a fun, useful communication tool for your family too: OneFamily Online Store
Here are three additional benefits for facilitating meaningful conversations with your family:
- Intentional Family Communication is Foundational and Long-lasting.
Several studies reveal the significance of meaningful family conversation upon children and families through generations. Healthy families are the building blocks of healthy societies. One such study from Oxford University, published in 2017, summarized it this way: “Families shape individuals throughout their lives, and family communication is the foundation of family life and functioning. It is through communication that families are defined and members learn how to organize meanings. When individuals come together to form family relationships, they create a system that is larger and more complex than the sum of its individual members. It is within this system that families communicatively navigate cohesion and adaptability; create family images, themes, stories, rituals, rules, and roles; manage power, intimacy, and boundaries; and participate in an interactive process of meaning-making, producing mental models of family life that endure over time and across generations.”
- Children Learn Best and Parents Lead Best During Times of Non-conflict.
A University of Nebraska study found that strong families make a way and make time for healthy conversations to take place, rather than letting the bulk of communication occur when there is a conflict going on: “Of course the most important talk in families often tends to be spontaneous talk. This is communication when no one is really working at communication, but simply enjoying talking and listening for talking and listening’s sake. How does a young person in your family feel about sex? Or grades? Or her future? If parents and children are comfortable around each other and genuinely enjoy each other’s company, then all kinds of interesting and important issues will come up in the conversation.” When families intentionally engage in meaningful conversations, they develop and exhibit better listening skills ; creating a better learning environment for the child and a greater opportunity for parents to be good role models of healthy communication.
- Healthy Family Communication Builds Social Skills, Cultivating Good Mental Health and Behavior.
Healthy family communication helps kids learn necessary social skills. Researchers have known for a long time that “people with poor social skills may suffer from mental health problems like depression and anxiety.” Behavioral and mental health issues are on the rise in children and especially in children 12-19 years of age. With so much communication happening digitally, it’s easy to see how online communication is one of the biggest impediments to developing social skills among young people today. Therefore, its critical for parents to engage with their kids in healthy conversations from an early age to teach the pro-social skills they need to lead to happier, healthier and more fulfilling lives.
Meaningful family conversations are so important to the overall health and growth of your family. If you are not already having these intentional conversations, we want to encourage you start. Whether you use our OneFamily daily quotes or try our conversation cards as conversation starters, we know you’ll quickly see what a difference meaningful conversations will make to your family just as it did with ours!
Blessings to your family,
Shelly & Rich