This week our youngest son Alex is moving into his own apartment in a new city, a new state with a new job.  It seems just like yesterday we were dropping him off at college, setting up his dorm room… and driving away. Now here we are, just 4 years later, with college graduation in the rear-view mirror. Looking back at all the many years of heart training, setting the moral standard, instructing the countless practical and moral reasons why behind so many things, as well as the complexities of life, we are graduating from another season in our parenting journey.  Just as our children have different graduations in school, as parents we also have different graduations signifying the end of one season and the start of the next:

  • Preschool => Kindergarten
  • Kindergarten => Elementary School
  • Elementary School => Middle School
  • Middle School => High School
  • High School => College, Military, Work (leaving home)

Of course, this does not mean we are no longer Mom and Dad.  We will always be Mom and Dad, but the vast majority of our parenting journey with our boys has ended.  They are young adults with careers and real responsibilities; putting into practice and drawing upon ALL that we have lovingly taught them.  Their own experiences will continue to shape and define them as men.  After all, that is the goal of parenting; providing your children with the foundation and the tools to succeeded and grow into adulthood with meaningful and healthy lives.

Intuitively we all know our children will grow up and have their own lives just as our own parents and their parents before them understood. But the idea of graduating from your parenting journey seems nearly impossible to grasp when you are changing diapers, running down a toddler in the store, helping with homework, or dealing with peer pressure issues/drama.

We love this video from Gary & Anne Marie Ezzo’s Parenting From the Tree of Life Series because it not only represents the journey of motherhood, but the journey of parenting, in its totality, as well.  As we outlined in ourParenting Phases letter, the joys and challenges of parenting evolve at all the various phases and we must transition our parenting as our children grow and develop.  We must also remember that our children will eventually leave and our formal parenting phase will come to an end.  In essence, we are working ourselves out of a job as parents!

So, as we graduate from raising our boys we have strong mixed emotions.  While we are grateful and proud of the men they are and proud of the loving intention we put towards parenting them, there is a sadness knowing that this concludes this stage of our parenting journey.  Despite all the challenges we encountered in their growing up years, today all those struggles seem so distant.  Now, we are only reminiscent of all the wonderful joys we’ve experienced as we ALL grew up together.  And while we have looked forward to graduating from parenting, now that it is here, it is truly bittersweet!

Our relationship with Trevor and Alex has entered a new phase with completely different contexts.  As we’ve seen demonstrated with the Marrs and their adult children, it’s our greatest desire that we will become their wise counsel, trusted mentors and genuine friends for many more decades than we spent raising them.  Our relational dynamic will change and develop as they experience life on their own.  They will discover that we were “right” about so many things we taught and explained to them.  And they’ll also discover that, we were “wrong” at times and made some mistakes as well.  Ultimately, we pray that they will come to fully understand and appreciate that we did the best job of loving and raising them that we could.  In turn, we hope that understanding will serve them well (and their future wives) one day, when it’s their turn to graduate as a parent.

Blessings to your family and parenting journey,
Shelly and Rich

In Person Classes/Workshop in the Denver Area

Early Bird Discount Registration Ending Soon!

Protecting the Innocence of Childhood ( 5-13yrs )– 2 Day Parenting Workshop – How to convey Sexual Knowledge to your children

Friday, September 16th, 7:00-9:00pm &Saturday, September 17th, 9:00-11:00am – Hosted at Cornerstone Lone Tree

More info & early bird discount registration: https://PIC-Workshop.eventbrite.com

Parenting the Middle Years (7-13 yrs of Age) Preparation for the teen years – Five Tuesdays Starting 9/27, 6:45 – 8:15 pm – Hosted @ Cornerstone Lone Tree

More info & early bird discount registration: https://Mid-Yrs-Cornerstone.eventbrite.com