1.47 million orange slices! That’s how many orange slices our family provided throughout the years at our boys activities and sporting events. Or at least it felt like that many! So what’s deal with orange slices anyway?!?!
When Trevor and Alex were young, their favorite thing, like most of the kids that age, was the orange slices at the end of the game or activity. For them, nothing was better than to share delicious, sweet and juicy orange slices in the company of their friends. They didn’t care that they kicked a goal in the wrong net or they did horrible on a VBS craft. It was all about the orange slices at the end!
With summer in full swing, many of you are having to provide orange slices, juice boxes, fruit snacks, etc… for various activities and events. We think it is important not to forget what the orange slices or snacks represent. For our boys, orange slices represented a celebration of activity, community, friendship and life lessons. It’s really about the joy in being a child!
Pressure on Parents
It seems like each year there is more and more pressure on parents to “create” the most optimal experience for our child while spending a disproportionate amount of time and money to achieve an outcome the children can create themselves. For the better part of ten years, we were involved in coaching, volunteering, and being the team parent whether it was sports, VBS, or other activities. We’ve not only experienced these pressures, but we’ve seen how it has challenged and hurt many families.
We had a time when we needed to make a course correction. Our boys’ activities became an overwhelming, all-consuming, massive burden to our overall family life. We ALL became stressed out! “Drive here, drive there, pick them up, don’t forget the orange slices, what about the team party, coaches’ gifts, team fundraiser, does Alex have his bible for VBS, are we positioning our boys to get on a better team for next year?” and this list went on. Pretty soon every evening and weekend was booked and we had to somehow find time in the midst of it all to recharge and enjoy one another.
Eventually we realized the toll it was taking on Team Howard and we took a timeout. We asked ourselves what is truly going to matter five years, ten years, down the road…and this helped us get our family priorities and calendar in-balance. So we went back to the orange slices and made a list of the outcomes we wanted for our boys and our family regarding sports and activities. Please keep in mind, when we mention activities, it could mean music lessons, dance, boy/girls scouts, summer camp and anything we involve our children in outside of regular home, church and school activities.
Howard Family Orange Slice List and Perspective
When we took our “Time Out’, over the course of a few CouchTimes, we identified and made a list of our desired outcomes. We understand that every family has different situations and circumstances, so we offer you our list as either something you might find helpful to incorporate, change or adapt to your own family.
- Have fun! We made this the #1 priority and outcome. Children only have one childhood.It should be filled with joy and laughter. As parents, we should enjoy our children’s childhood as well!
- Positive learning experience. Learning different skills, growing in knowledge, meeting new friends (and new parents too!), and enjoying community were core values for the activities we chose.
- Reaching potential. Is the activity or sport allowing our child to reach his potential? Are they growing in the learning experience or do they dread it? We removed our boys from several activities once the initial commitment was met because they weren’t thriving. They weren’t having fun or learning.
- Family first. Missing a practice or game(s) for the sake of a family event, vacation or neighborhood potluck was not a big deal so long as we respectfully provided the instructor, camp counselor, or coach plenty of notice of our absence. We did on occasion get some “push back” from coaches and heard some grumbling disapproval from other parents. However, if missing a few practices or a game negatively affects your child’s position or future outcome, then you may be on the wrong team or camp.
- Peace and Harmony. Life is busy enough without saying “yes” to every opportunity that comes your way. The family needs down time to experience peace and harmony. Create the space and then protect that space!
Statistics show that the vast majority of children will not go on to pursue their activity or sport in college or professionally. Yet many of us will sacrifice this limited and precious time of life with the hope of winning the “lottery” regarding our child’s talent and potential. Some honestly believe their child could be “the one” that plays violin at Carnegie Hall, dances on Broadway, or plays a sport professionally.
Activities and sports should enhance family life not complicate or overwhelm it. Pursue those dreams and aspirations as long as they fit within the desired outcomes and priorities you’ve set for your family. And with that, don’t forget the oranges slices!
Blessings to your family,
Shelly and Rich
Join us, along with other families at the Growing Families Conference! We absolutely love this opportunity to connect with other like-minded parents while the kids have a blast doing a ton of activities. This “all inclusive” four day family event is the perfect way to end the summer! We hope to see you there!