Screens, Social Media and Jack’s Story – Part 2

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Last week, we shared with you the  first part of Jack’s Story in his own words. Jack, who is now in his second year of high school, is sharing his compelling story about his deepest struggle with technology and the positive steps he’s taking to overcome the consequences of his actions.

This week, Jack vividly describes the spiraling nature and the dangerous path that can be the result of depression and stress brought on by digital and social media.  His story continues…

“One night I was sent an inappropriate photo which I did not know would cause me so much pain. That night I made one of the worst decisions I have ever made and sent a photo back. These pictures went on for about a month or two and no one knew besides me and this other person. Alright this would be a good time to say that the temptation is insane about sending something back- you feel so guilty when you do though. It may feel like a rush and you think you’re cool when you’re doing it but trust me it’s not worth it. Back to the story now.  After this was going on for a while I did start to think about stopping and if only I listened to my gut and I’m sure the Holy Spirit as well, I would’ve stopped. (I started seeing my current counselor who is an amazing Christian man who has helped me with a lot.) One night I was coming back from counseling when I felt a gut feeling to not send anything that night, only if Satan wasn’t tempting me so much to open and respond. I was still very suicidal all throughout this time and in a bad place; remember that.

That night I sent one photo that would be almost the end of my life. I was in the bathroom and sent this one photo to someone who it was not intended for. I remember after realizing what happened, I knew it was over. I started to get all hot and I felt like I was about to pass out. I grabbed my knife and started to try to kill myself because I knew it was all over. My arm was covered in blood and I was covered in guilt and shame. After seeing the blood and feeling the pain I puked a lot until I couldn’t anymore and felt like I was dying. My shirt, arm, and somehow my face had blood on it, I knew I had to go to my parents or I was going to end my life. I was determined to, but I had this feeling that I know I can’t die.  I walked into the kitchen with tears on my face, bleeding, and ready to die. I looked up at my parents and when I did I saw my mom’s face go blank. I’ll never forget that second of silence that we just looked at each other before all heck happened. I showed my wrist to my parents and they started crying and my mom screamed. I sat down and my dad put a rag and ice on it as my mom was looking for suicide hotlines to call. She called the National Suicide Prevention hotline then the woman on the other side started talking to me. She asked me about my future, what my goals were in life, and I don’t know how she did, but she led me from wanting to die, to just being in pain and sad. My dad was on the line with my counselor who talked to me as well over the phone. After I was kinda stable I hung up on both of them and explained what happened to my parents. That night my mom stayed in my room just to make sure I was safe. I got little sleep that night but the worst was yet to come.

The next day my mom called the school and told them what happened and we wrapped my arm up which got a few looks when I was in public. We had a meeting with the head of the school and I knew I was done at that school, which was only right, but it hurt so much. As we walked, the music and drama teacher (who was one of my favorite teachers) saw me and I stared crying because I knew I couldn’t be in the school play anymore which hurt so much. I let down my cast, my teachers, and friends. I felt hopeless and utterly worthless as well. I still wanted to be dead but I couldn’t die.  I withdrew from school in May so now we joke how I got a longer summer than everyone else, but in reality it wasn’t a fun summer at all. That summer I lost many friends and was pretty much abandoned. At one point I was so down that I tried shooting myself, but I thank God daily because the gun was on safety. God has prevented me from dying many times and I now see he must have a plan for me and there’s a reason I’m still breathing. I had a lot of anxiety that summer because I knew I had to find a new school which was hard for me. We did find a school that most of the students didn’t like because it was a very strict school. I did make new friends there though and they are currently still my best friends. I still deal with slight depression and regret everything that I did in that situation. I would also like to say that I did delete Snapchat that night and put restrictions on my phone, to insure that I would be safe from people and social media.

This story might have been difficult to read due to the fact of how detailed and raw it was. I just want to show parents and kids the negative and dark side of having a phone and being tempted to do things to seem cool.  I am blessed to be able to have written this story for all of you. I hope and pray that families can take in what I said and get something out of it. I would like to also say that having strong relationships with family is important because there is no way I could have gone through what happened alone. We all need people we trust and we can go to, to talk to about hardships that we are faced with. I want to thank you for taking time to read my story.”

Jack – A normal teenage boy

We are so grateful to our friend “Jack” and his family for their honesty and vulnerability in sharing their story with us.  Last week we addressed how screen use and social media amplifies the problems our kids are facing.  In Jack’s case he was vulnerable, he turned to social media to “fit in” and to escape from his problems.  He was lured and tempted by the adrenaline/dopamine rush and quickly found himself in a world he never intended to venture into.

While stories like this can be terrifying for parents, our goal is to help you better understand the challenges and form healthy perspectives that lead to proper stewardship of technology.  Equipping your family with information and having ongoing age-appropriate discussions is so important.  This should not be a one-time talk, but rather an ongoing conversation during times of non-conflict.

Finally, please feel free to reach out to us with any questions or concerns.  We know, from other Tuesday Letters, that our topics often raise many more questions than our written space allows us to address.  That’s why we want to encourage you to follow up with us on this and any other topics or issues!

Blessings to your family,
Shelly and Rich