When you were a child, did anyone teach you how to properly greet a neighbor, a friend or a guest? How to accept a compliment or what the proper behavior should look like at a restaurant or when friends come over for dinner? If so, did you know why it was important that you show courtesy and respect?

One practical piece of advice that has served us well in our parenting is to Role Play with our boys. It allowed us to show them, proactively, how to do certain things and how to behave in certain situations and circumstances. It was also a vehicle we used to explain why we did these things. Role playing gave our boys a tangible example of what is appropriate and expected behavior. It set the stage for them to succeed in many situations versus having to correct them after they didn’t intuitively know how or why to behave.

When the boys were very young, one of the first things we role played was a basic greeting. We would create a scenario where Shelly would pretend to be a friend or acquaintance and Rich would pretend to be Trevor and Alex. When “Friend” Shelly said hello, Rich would make sure to look her in the eyes and offer to shake hands followed by some common verbal responses to meet specific situations – “Nice to meet you” or “Thank you for having us over today.” After they saw Dad and Mom role play the greeting, it became their turn to practice greeting us in a few different scenarios. Each time, we would make sure to encourage them to use proper eye contact, voice level, and handshake pressure. We also made certain to explain why it was important to show respect and courtesy to others. The boys loved it and role playing became a fun Howard Family activity.

Now that the boys are in high school, we still continue role play but it looks a little different. We’ve shown them how to approach their teachers respectfully about a grading discrepancy, how to properly use their utensils and napkin in a formal dinner setting, and many other situations they might encounter as they transition into adulthood.

Here are some other examples, at various age levels, for you to consider in helping your kids to succeed through role playing:

Toddler/Preschool Years

  • Different ways to acknowledge and honor others with “Please” and “Thank you”
  • How to behave in specific public places – Grocery store, movie theater, church
  • How to behave in social situations – Birthday parties, visiting relatives, weddings
  • How to gain self control and what it looks like

Elementary Years

  • How and when to answer the front door and phone
  • How to hold the door for others
  • How to speak in front of the class
  • Ways to make others feel appreciated

Middle School/High School Years

  • How to approach and speak appropriately to the opposite sex
  • How to interview – Part-time job, meeting boyfriend/girlfriends parents, college recruiter
  • How to handle peer pressure
  • How to negotiate and navigate awkward and uncomfortable situations

We all want our children to conduct themselves and behave successfully. Role playing is a powerful tool that facilitates this success because they learn by actually doing and experiencing things in a non-threatening environment in advance of them actually happening. The result of this proactive effort is a confident child who has practiced how to behave and knows why the behavior is appropriate.

Blessings to your family,

Shelly and Rich