This past weekend we celebrated Alex’s 18th birthday.  While we enjoyed laughing, celebrating and reminiscing about his 18 year journey, we were also reminded of our own parenting journey and two important perspectives we have learned through the years.

Parenting is process

Wouldn’t it be great if you could tell your children something once and they would fully comprehend the meaning of everything in your instruction.  Like, telling your kids to “play nicely” and they would automatically, without challenge or attitude, fully understand that you meant for them to use inside voices, share toys, use kind speech, and put everything away properly when they finish playing.  If that were the case, the totality of your parenting would be over in a few short years!

The reality, however, is that parenting is a process that takes many years for us to achieve the outcomes we desire for our children and family.  For the process to be effective, children need to be instructed within a home characterized by a loving environment and where it’s understood that it’s ok to make mistakes as long as we learn and continue to grow in the process.

We are not perfect parents and we made plenty of mistakes along the way with our boys.  Thankfully, because parenting is a process, all parents are afforded the time to evaluate and make course corrections as needed. But be mindful that your time isn’t unlimited and you need to be diligent in moving forward proactively.

Enjoy the fruit of your parenting

It has been said that parenting is a labor of love.  Sleepless nights, changing diapers, temper tantrums, sarcastic attitudes, and moments of disrespect are just some of the challenging things parents face in the parenting process.  Because it’s a parent’s labor of love, we can consistently overcome these types of frustrating obstacles and see the goodness in our kids.  Similar to what we addressed with The Potato Principle letter, often times it’s hard to see the good fruit of your efforts when you are in the thick of a difficult parenting season.  It’s in those moments that we need to step back, look for and acknowledge everything that is positive.  We could all definitely use this encouragement in the parenting process no matter how big or small!  Here is a brief sampling of some of the fruit (large and small victories) we appreciated in our family as our boys grew:

  • Buckling themselves in their car seats
  • Cleaning up after themselves in a quick manner
  • Not coming into our bed in the middle of the night
  • Establishing a consistent nighttime and morning routine
  • Joyful Family Time – Game Nights, Vacations, Holidays, etc…
  • Trevor and Alex becoming each other’s best friend
  • Memorizing and being characterized by demonstrating our family verse (Mark 12:30-31)

Regardless of the parenting season you are in, look for the fruit of your efforts and celebrate it with your spouse and your children! You are all in this together!

Blessings to your family,

Shelly and Rich