What’s the one thing I can do to…
Improve my marriage?
Find balance in life?
Lose weight or get healthy?
Get out of debt or become financially independent?
Be the best mom or dad?
… and the list goes on and on and on! And usually we want that one thing to be something that we can do once that is pain-free, and relatively easy that will bring immediate satisfaction and alleviate all the stress and discomfort in our life.
A couple of weeks ago we were invited to a small group gathering to offer some parenting advice and answer some questions. One of the questions centered around the one thing we did or wish we did, that helped us parenting wise, when our boys were younger. After we got home and had a chance to think about it more, we figured out that there is one thing we did and continue to do that has helped us not only with our parenting, but helped us grow individually, in our marriage, and our everyday lives.
So what is The One Thing?
For us, it is the mindset of putting forth TRUE EFFORT. True effort is at the core of every successful virtuous intention. True effort is more than just trying hard. It is being obedient and disciplined to the resolve of your intention. To illustrate, in a very simplified manner, what True Effort looks like, let’s go back to our list.
Improve your marriage – That could mean going to counseling on a consistent basis. Or it could be something as simple as consistently having focused communication through CouchTime or date night.
We love going to marriage seminars and workshops to intentionally improve our marriage and remind us of those things we need to work on. This is something we consistently do.
Effort only fully releases its reward after a person refuses to quit. – Napoleon Hill
Find balance in life – That could mean saying “No” to perceived obligations or making the consistent effort to be proactive versus reactive to your responsibilities.
We have consistently said “No” to volunteering and signing the boys up for every opportunity that came up. However, if we did decide to say “yes” to an opportunity, we would then drop a current opportunity in order to maintain our balance.
Saying ‘yes’ to one thing means saying ‘no’ to another. That’s why decisions can be hard sometimes. – Sean Covey
Lose weight or get healthy – That could mean changing your lifestyle by consistently eating right and working out. Or it might mean deciding to get help overcoming addictions like smoking, drinking, taking pills, etc…
One healthy lifestyle choice we made was to cut out certain carbohydrates. That meant eliminating particular kinds of grains, starchy veggies, and high sugar fruits.
Success is dependent on effort. – Sophocles
Get out of debt or become financially independent – That could mean consistently following a monthly budget or consistently following the advice of a financial advisor.
We have consistently sought financial advice over the years through many different resources and applied various things we learned to our overall financial plan.
Much effort, much prosperity. – Euripides
Be the best mom or dad – That could mean consistently being on the same page with your spouse with discipline – encouraging and correcting. Or it could mean consistently being mindful and aware of the example you set with your words and actions.
For us, having consistent CouchTime not only improved our marriage, but also got us on the same page with our parenting. And like attending the marriage seminars or getting financial advice, we also took and taught many parenting classes in order to improve our parenting. In fact, we have many classes and workshops starting soon – Click here for more information.
And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up. – Apostle Paul
Again, these are simplified examples to illustrate the idea of what true effort looks like. You may of noticed that putting forth a consistent effort is really the key element of true effort; remaining consistent with our efforts in spite of challenges, obstacles and setbacks we face. We all have bad days and fall off the Effort Wagon from time to time. And true effort is not perfect; it’s all about being consistent.
Do we have a great marriage? Yes, but we do occasionally take each other for granted.
Do we have balance? Mostly, but we are working on it together.
Are we healthy? Generally speaking yes, but we need to incorporate more exercise.
Are we where we want to be financially? No, but we are in the middle part of a financial plan that will get us to where we want to be.
Are we the best Mom and Dad we can be? Pretty much, even though we have a bad day now and then… and we may go a couple of weeks without CouchTime, we keep working at it.
Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts. – Winston Churchill
Be characterized and defined by your True Effort. And, in the process, you will experience a great satisfaction that comes from fulfilling your intention!
For more characteristics and application of true effort, please visit our Resource Page or click on our True Effort PDF! Use this for CouchTime discussions!
Blessings to your family,
Shelly and Rich