Among all the essential lessons we teach our kids about greeting people—such as making eye contact, using an appropriate tone of voice, shaking hands correctly, and communicating with teachers, family members, and friends—we must not forget to teach them to smile. Too often, we encounter customer service representatives, store clerks, waitstaff, and others who fail to smile while interacting with us; sometimes, they barely make eye contact. This raises the question: why has this automatic response seemed to fade away? It appears to be lost or forgotten in our fast-paced, screen-obsessed, and self-centered world.

That’s why we believe it’s crucial to teach our children the importance of smiling as part of effective communication with adults and everyone else. There is compelling evidence that smiling benefits not only ourselves but also everyone we interact with.

“Turn that frown upside down!”  – My Mom (and probably yours too)

There are numerous studies that prove a mind-body connection.  You’ve probably heard that it takes more muscles to frown than to smile, but you may not have heard that using your smiling muscles actually makes you happier and healthier.  Smiling causes the release of neuropeptides and neurotransmitters:

  • Dopamine – heightens focus and attention
  • Endorphins – pain relievers
  • Serotonin – antidepressant

These neurotransmitters literally make you feel happier, help to relieve pain, and reduce stress which, in turn, can lower your heart rate and blood pressure and even help you live longer.  You can model this for your kids and teach them to try it when they’re having a hard day, when they are sad or stressed, etc… 

“If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours!” – Dolly Parton

It turns out that smiling is truly contagious. When you give someone a genuine smile, they almost always smile back. This automatic response is triggered by a part of our brain called the cingulate cortex, which is part of the autonomic nervous system. Have you ever been angry, and when someone smiles at you, you find yourself laughing? You may not want to smile, but you can’t help yourself because the reward centers in your brain activate your autonomic system.

By smiling at someone, you invite them to smile back and join the feel-good “happiness party” you’re hosting! What a wonderful gift a smile can be for someone who is feeling stressed, embarrassed, sad, or angry. Whoever said a smile can change the world was absolutely right. As Louis Armstrong sang, “When you smile, the whole world smiles with you!”

“Smile. It instantly lifts the face, and it just lights up the room!”  – Christie Brinkley

When you smile, other people are drawn to you and respond to you more favorably.  Seeing a smiling face activates the orbitofrontal cortex which is one of the reward centers in the brain.  Therefore, we feel rewarded when we smile as well as others who encounter our smile.  A study out of the University of Aberdeen, Scotland, found that people who smiled were perceived to be more attractive, more reliable, more relaxed, and more sincere, by both men and women. In the study, people were more drawn to the subjects who made eye contact and smiled.  Your smile instantly makes you more interesting and easier to listen to and focus on.  Which stands to reason why smiling increases your attractiveness and influence in the world whether it’s at home with your family, when you’re in a meeting, or just having coffee with a friend.  Smiling makes you irresistible!

Smiling is such a fun thing to talk about as a family and a wonderful lesson to convey to your kids.  Teach them to smile when they speak and greet others… including mom, dad, and siblings!  You could share a quote about smiling at dinner each night and as a family talk about what happened when you smiled at someone today?  How did smiling make you feel today? How did you give someone one of your smiles today? Were you able to listen better and focus when someone smiled at you (yes, it turns out we learn better when someone smiles at us too)?  Did people smile back at you when you made eye contact and smiled? How is your smile a blessing to others and to you?

We challenge you to try smiling more intentionally!  Try it for a week and see what happens at home, at work, at school, on a Zoom call, or out in public.  We think you’ll find when you start smiling, you find more to smile about!

“A smile is happiness you’ll find right under your nose.” -Tom Wilson

 

Blessings and Smiles to you and your family,

Shelly & Rich