Of all the things we teach our kids about greeting people, like looking people in the eye when they speak, using proper voice levels, the appropriate way to shake hands, and the general “how to” when talking to teachers, family members and their friends, we must remember to teach them to smile. So often we’ve encountered customer service people, store clerks, wait people and others who do not smile when they are speaking (sometimes they barely look at you) and we wonder why? It seems like this automatic response has been lost or forgotten in our fast paced, screen obsessed, me first world.  So, we thought it was important to teach this to our boys as part of the appropriate way to speak to adults and anyone really. There is compelling evidence why it’s good for you and everyone you interact with… especially now that mask restrictions are being lifted.

“Turn that frown upside down!”  – My Mom (and probably yours too)

There are numerous studies that prove a mind-body connection.  You’ve probably heard that it takes more muscles to frown than to smile, but you may not have heard that using your smiling muscles actually makes you happier and healthier.  Smiling causes the release of neuropeptides and neurotransmitters:

  • Dopamine – heightens focus and attention
  • Endorphins – pain relievers
  • Serotonin – antidepressant

These neurotransmitters literally make you feel happier, help to relieve pain, reduce stress which, in turn, can lower your heart rate, blood pressure and even help you live longer.  You can model this for your kids and teach them to try it when they’re having a hard day, when they are sad or stressed etc… Give smiling a try because when we do, before we know it, we feel better and we are better!

  “If you see someone without a smile, give them one of yours!” – Dolly Parton

It turns out that smiling truly is contagious.  When you give someone a genuine smile, they will almost always smile back because a part of our brain called the cingulate cortex, the autonomic part of our brain, causes this automatic response.  Have you ever been angry and someone smiles at you and then you start laughing?  You may not want to do it, but you can’t help yourself, because the reward centers in your brain have activated your autonomic system.  When you smile at someone, you’re inviting them to smile back and join the feel good, happiness party you’re throwing!  What a gift a smile can be to transform someone’s day who is feeling stressed, embarrassed, sad or mad. Whoever said a smile can change the world was right.  As Louis Armstrong sang: “When you smile, the whole world smiles with you!”

Smile. It instantly lifts the face, and it just lights up the room!  – Christie Brinkley

When you smile, other people are drawn to you and respond to you more favorably.  Seeing a smiling face activates the orbitofrontal cortex which is one of the reward centers in the brain.  Therefore, we feel rewarded when we smile as well as others who encounter our smile.  A study out of the University of Aberdeen, Scotland, found that people who smiled were perceived to be more attractive, more reliable, more relaxed and more sincere, by both men and women. In the study, people were more drawn to the subjects who made eye contact and smiled.  Your smile instantly makes you more interesting, easier to listen to and focus on.  Which stands to reason why smiling increases your attractiveness and influence in the world whether it’s at home with your family, when you’re in a meeting or just having coffee with a friend.  Smiling makes you irresistible!

Smiling is such a fun thing to talk about as a family and a wonderful lesson to convey to your kids.  Teach them to smile when they speak and greet others… including mom, dad, and siblings!  You could share a quote about smiling at dinner each night and as a family talk about what happened when your smiled at someone today?  How did smiling make you feel today? How did you give someone one of your smiles today? Were you able to listen better and focus when someone smiled at you (yes, it turns out we learn better when someone smiles at us too)?  Did people smile back at you when you made eye contact and smiled? How is your smile a blessing to others and to you?

We challenge you to try smiling more intentionally!  Try it for week and see what happens at home, at work, at school, on a Zoom call, or out in public.  We think you’ll find when you start smiling, you find more to smile about!

          “A smile is happiness you’ll find right under your nose.” -Tom Wilson

Blessings and Smiles to your family,

Shelly & Rich