For 37 years, we would say that most of our married life has been characterized by happiness, blessings, and growing together.  Yet, like all couples, there have been a few bumps in the road. The issues and challenges weren’t anything we couldn’t fix, but they did require emotional resiliency and attention on both our parts. Without this resilience and attention, we would have ended up on the wrong side of the divorce statistics. 

One of our favorite analogies about marriage that we love is that your relationship is like your car.  You must do routine and preventative maintenance to keep it running smoothly.  If you put these things off, you can end up breaking down on the side of the road with a very expensive repair.  Or in some cases, beyond repair.  Don’t let that be your marriage!  Do the maintenance and avoid the mindset that tells us, “If it’s not broke, don’t fix it… or I can deal with that later!”

All marriages go through trying and tricky situations from time to time… even if you do consistent routine maintenance!  So, what are some practical things we can do?  Here are three areas that have helped us to stay resilient and focused on the positive things to keep our marriage growing, strong and healthy:

Do Your Part – Take responsibility for yourself and the aspects of your life that you control, such as your thoughts, attitude, habits, and both your physical and emotional health. Avoid playing the “blame game.” Instead, concentrate on being the kind of partner you would want to be married to—someone who actively shows up and contributes positively to the relationship.

Consider: What can YOU do differently in the relationship to remove negative thoughts and attitudes?

Decide Don’t Slide – When encountering conflict or challenges in your marriage, you have two choices: you can either do nothing and hope for the best, or you can take action to improve your chances of a positive outcome. Taking action means thoughtfully considering your options and discussing a course of action that will lead to desired results for your relationship. By letting things slide, you relinquish control over the outcome and leave everything to chance.

Consider: Are there issues in your relationship that you’ve been letting slide?  Are you avoiding conflict or working toward a healthy resolution?

Make it Safe to Connect – Healthy relationships are built on safety. When both partners feel safe, they can grow and thrive together. It’s essential for both spouses to have the freedom to feel secure and to be vulnerable with each other. While physical and emotional safety may seem obvious, a commitment to maintaining safety is crucial as well. This commitment reassures partners that they are working together toward a shared future and investing in their relationship.

Consider: What can you do better to be a safe person to confide in, dream with and be vulnerable with?  Are you listening and seeking understanding or are you thinking of a rebuttal in defense?

Your marriage offers you incredible opportunities for personal and spiritual growth, but it requires ongoing investment in yourself and in the relationship. One of the most effective tools we’ve discovered over the years is SYMBIS online assessment. We have witnessed transformational changes in hundreds of marriages, and we would love for you and your spouse to join our special upcoming SYMBIS+ online class! While we typically offer this program in a personalized one-on-one format, we are excited to introduce it as a three-night online seminar for the first time!

SYMBIS Online Marriage Checkup: 3 Nights to Reconnect and Strengthen Your Relationship

Early Bird Discount – Extended to 9/12 – over 20% savings!

https://events.humanitix.com/symbis-2025

A healthy marriage improves every aspect of your life by helping you become a better person. Remember, it’s a covenant you made on your wedding day when you promised to embody selflessness, sacrifice, and steadfast love for your partner!

 

Blessings to you, your marriage and family,

Shelly and Rich