With holiday’s fast approaching, we are often asked if we played along with society’s idea about Santa Claus. Many parents, today, seem very concerned about The Santa Claus Issue. More so, now, than in the past it seems. On one side of the issue, they are concerned about “lying” to their children and on the other, missing out on all the holiday fun. Either way, parents are concerned that they will scar their little ones for life and feel trapped in this apparent no-win situation.
We generally tell parents that there is no right or wrong on this topic. Rather, they should talk (CouchTime!) about the pros/cons and decide what’s best and comfortable for their own family. Ultimately, Christmas is not about Santa or Presents, or even how “Naughty or Nice” we’ve been. And The Santa Claus Issue should not be made into that big of an Issue.
For the Howards, we have always been Pro Santa and eventually used Santa Claus as the teaching vehicle for three main reasons: Memories/Traditions, being Others Oriented, and Faith.
Memories/Traditions
Growing up in the 60’s/70’s, we both have fond memories of Santa Claus: Waiting in line at the mall to see Santa; writing him a note advocating how wonderful we’ve been ALL year; and trying with all our might to stay up just to get a glimpse of him on Christmas Eve/Morning. Looking back, we never harbored any resentment to our parents for perpetuating the “charade” nor did we have any bad experiences that either of us could recall. We just have fond Christmas memories.
Once Trevor and Alex came along, we knew that we wanted them to have the same fond memories and enjoy the traditions we had growing up. So, just as our parents did for us, we painfully stood in line for what seemed like hours waiting to see Santa with our boys, we helped them write the letters which are now so precious to us, and we waited until our little angels fell asleep (2 am?!?) before we wrapped the presents and placed them under the tree.
Others Oriented
Let’s face it, teaching young children how to share, let alone how to be others oriented, can be extremely challenging. Santa Claus was one of many tools we used to illustrate the idea of being others oriented. “Santa brings us gifts and asks for nothing in return!” Giving without receiving is a wonderful concept to treasure and place upon our children’s hearts. And Santa Claus became a catalyst for us to illustrate that to our young boys.
Faith
Before the start of one school year (a time of non-conflict), we sat down at dinner to tell Alex about Santa Claus. “Al, you’ve been asking many questions about Santa Claus and we wanted to let you know that the idea of Santa is real, but Mom and I have been doing his work.” With an incredulous look on his face, he said to 12 year old Trevor, “Did you know about this?” Classic Alex response and another great memory!
Telling the boys about Santa when they got older was a terrific way to begin an ongoing conversation about what Santa Claus represents. We’ve had some great discussions about loving unconditionally, giving without receiving, serving others, and believing in something without actually seeing (faith). Describing the parallels between our relationship with our children and our relationship with God may seem obvious, but connecting those dots for our boys was an unexpected and treasured outcome!
So, for the Howards, Santa Claus is real in our hearts. He is just a tiny reminder of the bigger picture of Christmas-Serve and give asking nothing in return, love unconditionally, and believe in the true meaning of Christmas.
Blessing to your family,
Shelly and Rich