“But the fruit of the spirit is Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Forgiveness, Gentleness, and Self-Control.”
Galatians 5:22-23

“You will know them by their fruits.”
Matthew 7:16

 

There are a few larger concepts that help guide parents in their everyday efforts at raising a family. We believe that Family Identity (Family Identity and Traditions, Memorized Family Identity) is one such concept which we reference constantly. Within that structure fits the rest of the ideas and techniques of family. One such idea is “characterization”, how is a person characterized. Is your child characterized by being attentive to your instruction or lackadaisical? Are they good-natured or headstrong? Do they face the consequences or use verbal defenses to absolve responsibility (lying)? There are countless ways in which we all can be characterized.

But as a family identity trait, are we characterized by the fruit as described within the above Bible verse? When someone looks at one Marr or the whole clan, what do they see? Do they see a someone who is characterized by goodness, kindness, and self-control? Do they have anxiety or peace? Are they willing to see how others can make hurtful mistakes or are they unforgiving? The observer will come away with a characterization long before they know all the facts.

When our kids were in school, there were countless instances when a teacher would be confronted with a “he said/she said” situation. The facts of what happened and who is at fault so often are unknowable. But how a child is characterized influences how a teacher will react and how the conclusion is reached. Maybe that might be unfair, but it’s human nature; has always been and likely always will be. A child who is good natured and honest, willing to volunteer when at fault, is generally kind to friends and others, is the child who will be believed. If that child has older siblings who are similarly characterized, they hardly need lift a finger for credibility.

Of the above list, it does take training to develop these qualities. A child may have love in their heart but may not know how to effectively express it. When your child is expressing joy, it lifts everyone around them, but is there a crash afterwards? Learning to have “anxiety for nothing” takes a lifetime as stresses increase in complexity as one ages. A book can be written about forgiveness. And self-control is a basic fundamental for parents to instill in their kids that influences every other fruit.

Every day the grains of sand in the hourglass slip by. Each grain represents an opportunity to work on the fruit of your spirit as expressed to your family and the world. In this way you are declaring your family identity and its’ source, the Tree of Life.

This Spring water the seedlings that will harvest the fruit of a Godly spirit.

Many Blessings,
Lis and Dave Marr