Adventure. Doesn’t that sound exotic? Since Lis is from Sweden, travel has always been a part of our family DNA. Adventure brings new sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and experiences. We traveled to visit Lis’ parents every other year and, when our kids were old enough (5+), we took the opportunity to explore other countries as well. The stresses of travel can be pretty taxing on young and old alike. We remember spending Kevin’s entire birthday [...]
“Death and life are in the power of the tongue.” —Proverbs 18:21 KJV Dave has had his share of business stresses, and mowing the lawn was prime territory for what our pastor, Gary Thomas, calls a “Fantasy Fight.” You know the kind: an internal monologue where you grind through a situation, slaying your opponent with irrefutable logic and perfect wording. They respond. You counter brilliantly. Eventually, they yield to your obviously superior position. Ahem. Dave [...]
When you send your young child over to play at a neighbor’s house, what kind of games will the older brother be playing? Will your child be treated with a parenting eye that you would approve of? What kind of treatment will the younger kids get from older siblings? Does your child’s friend have their own smartphone? Will the time be spent playing games or spent on social media? What kind of activities will be [...]
Children benefit from structure more than they appreciate structure. As the Howards wrote and podcasted a few weeks ago - “Back to School and a Family Reset” - summer days of relaxed rules must eventually give way to the structure of a new school year. We have a few more ideas to share on the subject. To start, getting up on time and going to bed earlier can be a parental challenge to enforce. Curtailing [...]
We've all heard the saying: "There's no free lunch." Economists use the phrase to remind us that everything has a cost. Even when something appears free, someone, somewhere, paid for it. It's a simple idea. But it may be one of the most important lessons we can teach our children. Children begin life delightfully unaware of what it takes to make a family function. Meals appear. Laundry gets folded. The lights come on. The house [...]
Around when your child is 10, play this mental game - “Grab a live chicken. Got ‘em? Ok, now pluck all the feathers off the chicken. Get in there and pull them from the wings, the back, the tail. Get ‘em all. Are they all gone? Ok, now, put all the feathers back on the chicken.” A plucked chicken is good and plucked. Some decisions are irreversible. I don’t know where this came from, but [...]
In these OneFamily Letters, we try to support families with principles, techniques, encouragement, and examples from our own lives and from the many healthy families we know. We often write about what worked well for us. But there is another side to the story. Let’s be real. Parenting is filled with dilemma after dilemma. You make decisions in real time without fully understanding the long-term implications. You act with love, conviction, fear, exhaustion, hope, immaturity, [...]
There is an element in human nature that struggles to appreciate prosperity, wholesomeness, progress, and success. Why that is remains a mystery. As parents, we aspire for our children to fulfill their God-given gifts and capabilities. When we pause to consider the incredible material and personal blessings many of us enjoy today, it truly is remarkable. We, Lis and Dave, own our home and raised our children in it. We made this house a place [...]
Often, it’s not the big issues that determine direction, but the small ideas we choose to adopt along the way. And occasionally, one small idea can compound into something transformational. That was our story. Our kids were very young, and our marriage had barely begun by our 10-year anniversary. We were “happy”, but in our mid-30s, we were just figuring things out. The arguments, the snipping, and the frustrating power struggles were a function of [...]
If you haven’t seen WALL-E, the 2008 Disney Pixar film, you should. It’s a surprisingly thoughtful animated movie about a lonely little robot living on an abandoned Earth centuries into the future. At one point in the film, humans are living aboard a spaceship where every aspect of life has been automated and optimized for comfort. The humans are entertained, fed, transported, and protected—but disconnected, passive, and disengaged. Their comforts have quietly consumed their humanity. [...]