When our youngest son was in high school, he contemplated suicide. The length and seriousness of those thoughts aren’t definable, but that he had them in our family is not just a statistic to us. We didn’t know that he felt isolated and depressed, we only heard it in an offhanded way many years later. We asked his permission to write about this topic as a gift and a warning to you. If you’ve read [...]
In our Encouraging Courage (Girls) Letter was a neat little message that had clear edges and the takeaways fit the title where we came away looking like competent parents. But life isn’t always so cut and dried. Encouraging the heart can often be vague platitudes that miss the mark and confound parents and frustrate children. That was the case when dealing with our son Kevin whose sweet spirit was occasionally a puzzle to us. Dave’s [...]
These Letters are intended to provide you with whatever insights we have gained over the last 30 years of parenting and marriage. Our perspectives are not comprehensive, just intending to spark thought on how to take your parenting and marriage to the next level of effectiveness. There is so much to say to you which we hope is instructive and encouraging, perspectives we wish we had ‘back in the day’. We had to figure it [...]
In the last 2 installments of Dad the Spiritual Leader, we attempted to introduce the notion that spiritual leadership isn’t just adherence to traditional notions of going to church, reading the Bible, and leading the family in prayer. Rather, an engaged Dad should get major credit for living out Biblical principles when fully engaging with each member of the family and taking on the responsibility of his role. The last bit of part 2 left [...]
Another basketball story. The two brothers, ages 11 and 9, are close. They homeschool together, live well south of the Metro area in rural Colorado. But like brothers, they occasionally compete and tussle, make up and have fun. These two are probably best friends now and will remain so the rest of their lives. But that isn’t a foregone conclusion. Their competition and jealousies could expand and get out of hand; their hard feelings remain [...]
In talking with a dad of two boys, ages 9 and 7, he proudly told me the story of how his boys overcame adversity this past weekend. He had volunteered to be their basketball coach and, as such, was faced with corralling boys and girls into some sort of team, teach them some skills, and identify various positive qualities within each of them over the course of the season. It’s not about winning. The season [...]
Since we’re soon amidst the travel season, we thought it’d be appropriate to talk about traveling with children. This week is about planes, trains and automobiles and thoughts on making travel a pleasure for everyone. Yes, parents love their kids, but those rose-tinted glasses get a good cleaning when kids suffer the gauntlet of uncomfortable seating, long waits, time changes, strange food, disrupted sleep schedules, and stressed parents. Strangers will give your parenting ability the [...]
In every life there is a transition from the essence of youth into the experience of adulthood. Often within this transition is an episode that stands out as a hinge point of meaningful experience, which is designated as “the event” that dislodges one’s understanding from the rock of ignorance. These hinge point experiences are retold as testimonies. As authors of these weekly letters to you, we continually confront the question as to what is valuable, [...]
Children make mistakes. Just like when a toddler learns to walk, by leaning too far one direction then too far another, they learn balance. It’s during those countless “mistakes” of not getting balance exactly right that they learn to balance. A child has getting up and falling down experiences that supply a massive amount of information about gravity and strength. Then back and forth with use of hips and toes. Then staggering and eventually running. [...]
Cada uno de nosotros ha estado en el extremo receptor de ser agraviado, herido, golpeado y magullado física, emocional y psicológicamente. Por desgracia, hemos estado demasiadas veces en el extremo de causar daño u ofensa de alguna manera, grande o pequeña, por accidente o a propósito, dañando así una relación. Esa es la forma de hacerlo: la vida no nos permite progresar mucho sin reconciliarnos cuando causamos una ruptura dentro de nuestra familia, nuestros amigos, [...]