One of the most powerful skills you can teach your child that will immensely increase their likelihood of a mature, well-balanced, happy, life is the skill of adult forgiveness. We’ve talked in these Letters about childhood forgiveness which is an important foundation for maintaining relationships and not being burdened by a heavy heart bound up by feelings of hurt in the early years. It’s foundational to release the hurt and move past the incident. Imagine [...]

The idea that you’ll raise your children the same, each receiving equal amounts of your time, energy, money and intangibles is a commendable idea, but unrealistic. Equality certainly should be true as it pertains to your love and your moral guidance, but the simple truth is that love is often perceived by children through the allocation of limited resources. Consider the scenario if you have 3 children in sports. A boy might be gifted in [...]

“You’ve got a bad attitude” Dave’s dad would say. He apparently looked at the facial expression, the demeanor, and behavior and determined that Dave wasn’t measuring up to some standard he had. That clearly was the takeaway, not measuring up. But what was the standard? What was the attitude supposed to look like? And by declaring a “bad attitude”, what was Dave to do differently? It was never made clear. Kevin, our son, was a [...]

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” - Mathew 7:7-8   The door to your child’s spirit is seemingly closed. Their behavior is not in alignment with your wishes. Their tone in dialogue with you is conflicted and bordering on disrespectful. Is [...]

Communication is when the thoughts, ideas, and emotions within a person are effectively re-created in understanding within another person. Perfect communication would be a 1:1 event which rarely occurs, particularly in exchanges with children. Using words, for example, a parent would ask a child “Bring me the small red ball” out of numerous colored balls of differing sizes. And if the child sorted through and picked out the small red ball and brought it to [...]