You are teaching your children how to be – to act, to speak, to think.
For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he. – Proverbs 23:7
As a Man Thinketh – James Allen
Let no corrupt communication proceed from your mouth but that which is edifying and ministers grace to the hearer. – Ephesians 4:29
We are programmable biologically to where the brain gets wired differently when we are bathed in Words of Life. Every time a word of encouragement is provided, it strengthens the synaptic connections to a young brain’s higher intellectual development. Whereas, when a word or action causes pain, emotional or otherwise, the amygdala instantaneously diverts the signal to the ‘fight or flight’ area of the brain. In each instance, words of encouragement or words of negativity strengthen the physical brain pathways that form the brain and personality of our children. Words of Life bring higher cognitive paths, whereas negative words send energy to the survival parts of our brain. “The words we use define in the mind of our children who and what they are.” – Gary Ezzo
When we continuously practice Life Words (which is a catch phrase symbolizing our thoughts, words, and deeds) then God’s goodness and grace is presented to our spouse, children, ourselves and the world. Yet, when we allow our communication to be filled with sarcasm, cynicism, vulgarity, pessimism, and doubt, then those seeds are planted in the brain’s synapses at the micro level. Those seeds can grow into a negative disposition that echoes cynicism, pessimism, and guardedness.
To do our best for our children, we must understand how life works and why we are the way we are as individuals. We bring our own upbringing to the marriage and our parenting. From that understanding and desire to ‘not mess up a good thing’, we seek to improve ourselves so we can do a better job for our children.
- Create a Life-giving home environment by eliminating negative words and filling your vocabulary with Life words. Our words impact everyone we come in contact with. Initially that might feel fake, but with sincerity over time, people will come to view you more positively and your interactions will be more genuine.
- Practice speaking words of life to your spouse, your children, those you work with, even your barista at your local coffee shop, so as to strengthen your mindset.
- Remember, there is nothing in the character of God that is …snarky, negative, mean-spirited.
- If you have older kids, it’s okay to talk about your family now changing to Life words and also take the opportunity to apologize to them for previous use of negative words
- Neuroscience research has proven our words change the brain of both the speaker and the listener.
- You can heal past wounds from your own upbringing by letting go of the negative words and changing to Life Words. Negative parts of brain synapses die off as positive life-words connections get stronger. New neural patterns are formed
- Make sure you also have your facial expression and tone of voice to match the words you use.
- Life words spoken early and often in your child’s life will impact them in their teen self-worth and identity and could be a difference maker when he or she is confronted with negative peer pressure.
- Having a brain that is built on Life words opens it up to hear instruction and guides the child toward positive changes in behavior. A brain that is in fight or flight mode literally cannot hear instruction since the amygdala is busy “protecting” the brain from emotional harm.
- Speaking Life can stave off lying or hitting or being selfish by not only pointing out what the child is doing wrong (negative words) but how they can be moved toward doing the right thing by using the virtue as the goal – “You are someone who tells the truth”, “You can learn to be gentler”, “You can learn to be more generous”.
- To create a Life-giving community where everyone in your social circle speaks Life consider facilitating a parenting course in your home with like-minded families. We here at OneFamily will come alongside you with all the materials, resources, and discussion questions you need.
By bringing Words of Life into your family, not only do your children grow into positive, open-minded, loving individuals, but you are positively impacted by leading the way toward reflecting the character of God and bringing God to the moment.
To your abundant Life-filled words and families,
Lis and Dave Marr
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