1.47 million orange slices! That’s how many our family provided over the years at our boys’ activities and sporting events — or at least it felt like that many! So what’s the deal with orange slices anyway?
When Trevor and Alex were young, their favorite part — like most kids that age — was the orange slices at the end of the game or activity. For them, nothing was better than sharing sweet, juicy slices with friends. They didn’t care if they kicked a goal in the wrong net or how their VBS craft turned out. It was all about the orange slices at the end.
With spring sports and activities starting up, many of you will be packing orange slices, juice boxes, and all kinds of snacks. But it’s important not to forget what those snacks represent. For our boys, orange slices symbolized celebration, community, friendship, and the joy of learning life lessons through play. It was really about the joy of being a child.
Pressure on Parents
Each year, it seems there’s more pressure on parents to create the “optimal” experience for their kids — often requiring disproportionate amounts of time, energy, and money to achieve outcomes children are fully capable of creating for themselves.
For nearly ten years, we coached, volunteered, and served as team parents for sports, VBS, and other activities. We didn’t just feel the pressure ourselves; we also saw how it challenged and, at times, hurt many families.
There came a point when we needed a course correction. Our boys’ activities became overwhelming — an all-consuming burden on our family life. We were all stressed.
Drive here, drive there. Pick them up. Don’t forget the orange slices. What about the team party? Coaches’ gifts? Fundraiser? Does Alex have his Bible for VBS? Are we positioning the boys for a better team next year?
Before long, every evening and weekend was booked, and we were struggling to find time to recharge and simply enjoy one another.
Eventually, we recognized the toll it was taking on Team Howard, so we called a timeout. We asked ourselves: What will truly matter five or ten years from now? That question helped us realign our priorities and restore balance to our family calendar.
The Howard Family Orange Slice List Perspective
During a series of “CouchTime” conversations, we identified the outcomes we truly wanted from sports and activities. Every family’s situation is different, but we share our list in hopes that you might adapt it to fit your own.
- Have fun.
This became our #1 priority. Children only have one childhood — it should be filled with joy and laughter. As parents, we should enjoy it too.
- Positive learning experience.
Activities should build skills, grow knowledge, foster friendships (for kids and parents!), and cultivate a sense of community.
- Reaching potential.
Is the activity helping our child grow, or do they dread it? We removed our boys from some activities after fulfilling commitments because they weren’t thriving — they weren’t learning or having fun.
- Family first.
Missing a practice or game for a family event, vacation, or even a neighborhood potluck was not a big deal — as long as we communicated respectfully. We did get occasional pushback, but if missing a few events jeopardizes your child’s future, you may be on the wrong team.
- Peace and harmony.
Life is busy enough without saying “yes” to every opportunity. Families need margin — space to rest, reconnect, and experience peace. Create that space, then protect it.
Statistics show that the vast majority of children will not pursue their sport or activity in college or professionally. Yet many families sacrifice this precious season of life chasing the slim possibility that their child might be “the one” — the concert violinist, Broadway dancer, Olympian, or professional athlete.
Activities and sports should enhance family life, not overwhelm it. Pursue dreams and aspirations as long as they align with your family’s values and priorities.
And with that — don’t forget the orange slices!
“When kids’ sports (and activities) become the family identity, it can be dangerous. Don’t build your family identity around a sport. Build your family identity around your values — and let sports be part of your family life, not the thing that controls it.”
— Jeff Fancoeur, Pure Athlete Podcast Host
Blessings to your family,
Shelly and Rich
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