There are a thousand things to take up one’s time: Responsibilities at work, emails, organizing and paying the bills, the abundance of life’s maintenance like cooking and laundry, mowing the lawn and taking out the trash, school events, sports events, and unending child socials, and then throw in your own socializing and time to just relax in front of a Netflix movie. Why would you take what few precious unscheduled moments that remain and volunteer your time? WHY would you DO THAT?
That’s where we were in 1995 when we first took the precursor to Parenting from the Tree of Life. Three young kids under 7, new business, new home (no yard), beginning community of friends and a marriage that at 10 years was still new. Heck, we were only 34. And at that time in our lives, if we volunteered for anything, we didn’t want to get trapped in pouring out of an empty cup.
But then we took the parenting class. Wow. That first class made such a huge impact on our marriage and our parenting. We no longer parented from the two different paradigms vaguely dredged from our childhoods. We had a single platform that was God-based and actually thought out! We didn’t have to wing it (as much). And since our friends had taken that first class with us, our whole community was singing from the same song sheet. “Dang”, we thought, “wouldn’t it be awesome if all of Denver took this class, society’s problems would almost vanish!” So we volunteered to lead a class.
The first class was eye popping as we said. But the second time when we lead it, it was even more impactful. We came to realize we only took away about 10% of the material from the first class. Not only that, in the new class we made some great friends that became permanent fixtures in our lives. Given all this, why wouldn’t we continue leading? So we did. We volunteered again. But the difference now was we had been using the material for a couple of years. Our marriage had begun to gel around some of the key ideas. Our kids got in line with the principles and their happiness, with a clear set of family guidelines, really took off. The third year of our volunteering was really the best though.
Our marriage had always been pretty good. But like all relationships between two maturing people, we had a lot of refinement to go, uh hem. We had some rough spots and challenges we were working through. Yet Parenting from the Tree of Life truly became a ladder of maturity for our family. As we matured, as our children grew, we came to understand more of the principles and be able to apply them consistently. Our issues resolved and our marriage became rock solid. After the third year of volunteering, we became evangelical about Parenting from the Tree of Life. Volunteering became our passion.
Dave also tries to positively influence men through Ironmen where he e-mentors several hundred young men. In that effort, he has been asked countless times about purpose and passion. Certainly a few people are born with that high energy and understanding of why they are put on this earth, but most people don’t have that certainty. Such was the case with both of us. But the love we have for our children and the reinvigorated love for each other grew out of this enormous sense of family well-being we experienced from volunteering. Our purpose, passion and family culture grew out of volunteering in parenting classes.
And so today, our passion has grown into OneFamily. We and the Howards have this nonprofit that expresses our beliefs that if this program could only reach parents in their busy lives, they would see what we saw, they would experience what we experienced, they could develop a passion in their marriage and family as rich as ours have become. OneFamily is dedicated to that proposition.
When you see the light brighten in someone’s eyes about something they love so much, their children, it infuses a passion. To find one’s passion is to soar. By volunteering, you won’t be trapped; you’ll be set free. Volunteering… at church, in the community, or by joining our OneFamily team where we can certainly use your talents, all can unleash for you and your family a purpose you may not know you had.
To your family’s freedom,
Lis and Dave Marr