Clearly you are more mature today than you were 5 years ago. And to be sure, you’re likely to be more mature 5 years from now than you are today. In what way? Your kids will lead you to the answer.

Setting goals for the year is definitely a worthwhile endeavor, though it is commonplace to lose energy and focus on those objectives as the clean slate of the coming year gets filled with life. A good question then is where should your incremental energy and focus go to generate the best outcome for you and your family? Hopefully that is the point of reading these Letters from OneFamily, to occasionally pick up an insight into ideas and techniques that will make your life enriched, smoother, and ultimately more abundant in fruits. And so we Marrs (and Howards) draw from our experiences that might provide a guide.

Here’s a strategic thought for the New Year – invest in developing the ‘fruits of the Spirit’ in your family.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”  – Galatians 5:22-23

Our kids were 11, 9, and 7 and we were approaching 40. Our normal dinner together sitting around the table consisted of engaging in shared learning (Dave talking at length on some topic) and each child contributing something appropriate to their age. At one point, Dave made a comment about a particular person whose physical appearance generated a derogatory remark intended as a joke. Everyone at the table slightly chuckled except our youngest Kevin. Instead, when the table quieted down, he said he didn’t think we should be saying something mean about another person behind their back. Ouch.

That was a child’s rebuke effectively saying the standards for the family had been set and as a leader, Dad was subject to them too. Otherwise, standards have no meaning, leaving only hypocrisy.

Fast forward 20+ years and looking back on the journey from that day to this, that lesson from our son remains a fresh, albeit embarrassing, reminder that the fruits of the Spirit standard is a many layered, seemingly infinite nuance of growth opportunity.

Dave’s childhood through early adulthood involved sarcasm, cynicism, biting humor, and negative psychology – basically, the fruit of “suck it up”, “dog eat dog”, “survival of the fittest”, “looking out for number 1”. As marital and parenting raw materials, these “principles” did not serve a very wholesome meal at dinnertime. We didn’t distinguish back then Words of Life from Death Words. And at some point, your children will begin to see you for who you are rather than who you say you are. That dinner, Kevin saw something he didn’t like and said so.

“Thus, you will know them by their fruits”.  – Matthew 7:20

Taking up Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness, and Self Control is a yearlong topic for you personally, within the marriage, and among the family. You will potentially confront personal gaps in your maturity, live out marital and family Words of Life, and enhance your family standards. Speaking from our Marr experience, reflecting on the journey of our lives and seeing the impact it has had on our family, the depth and breadth of what is possible is simply astonishing.

Setting workout goals, financial goals, or even family adventure goals are worth doing because you’re seeking to improve the varying practical aspects of your life. The fruits of the Spirit, however, is the very nature of who you are at the center of your life. Investing energy and focus in pursuit of deeper personal maturity will pay abundant fruits.

Lis and Dave

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A Special Opportunity to Help Families

During this season of giving, would you consider helping OneFamily to Equip, Encourage and Sustain families like yours?

In our letter, OneFamily – One Million Families Reached in 2024, we shared how OneFamily continues to serve families successfully along with some exciting new opportunities we have to expand our reach to more families.  We can achieve this only with your support! Our projects, growth, and sustainability primarily depend on financial contributions from individual donors like you.

With your generous donation, OneFamily can continue supporting you and help more families with the tools and programs they need for their marriage and parenting to succeed in today’s challenging environment.

Donate Here on the OneFamily Website
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VENMO “2024 Donation” to: @onefamilyhwl
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via Check to:
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