To your children, God looks and acts like you. They will come to define God’s love based on how they have experienced your love. Their self-worth will be based on that definition, a love that finds the right balance of words and actions to coax and mold appropriate behavior and effort. Their life is a divine journey of discovery guided by you. And for those parents who understand the depth of this blessing, they recognize they are God’s representative on earth, here to show His face and love to a soul innocent of human endeavors. If this seems a bit over the top, then go into your child’s room tonight, watch them sleep and draw your own conclusions.
You no doubt believe there is a God and it’s not you. But your little boy doesn’t know that. Your baby girl looks up from the crib and knows with certainty that you are the giver of life and love, all things come from you. Yes, that perspective will evolve over time, but it will be a very long time. For many years to come, you will be the face of Truth, Love, and Value to a soul yearning for those things. And the true God of Love, Truth, and Value will be defined by your actions.
Imagine you are told by God “I love you, but you are messy.” How would you define yourself going forward? What if the “mommy god” was talking with the “daddy god” and they said, “This child is truly wonderful, he is such a fast learner. She has the sweetest spirit. He sure listens and is able to focus on the task at hand. She is so smart!” These statements repeated over and over for years will absolutely form your child’s psyche and self-worth. These are Words and Actions of Life and will carry the power of God and last decades in their belief system.
Imagine years of prioritizing your child over, say, texting, or Instagram, or sports on TV, or work. “Mom, watch me.” “Daddy, see me?” “Watch!” Can you see me? Am I worth watching? A child’s need to be viewed as worthy of your time and attention seems endless, but it does end. Their cup does fill. But with what?
As your child matures and your expectations of their understanding rises, you may lose the notion that you still represent ‘God on earth’ to them. Certainly, you can tell them about God in heaven, but that theory of God will be dwarfed by the reality of you. However old your child may be, there will always be that foundational aspect of God’s Love, Truth, and Value coming from you.
So here we are again at the New Year. As you contemplate the landscape for you and the family, some resolves may stand out as more worthy, more impactful, than others. In a series of Couch Times, wouldn’t now be a good time to assess the ways in which some of your actions represent God’s message to your child’s psyche and how some can be improved upon. Doesn’t it make sense to set expectations for the coming year on ways you can be more clear in how to imprint your love on their self-image. Wouldn’t today be a good day to establish periodic markers in your calendar to remind yourself that you are God on earth to your child. When your child looks up at you, who do they see?
To a year of presenting God’s face,
Lis and Dave Marr