You have been blessed with wonderful children whose very nature is one of love and of learning. And you are their teacher in both. Season after season, you’ll have these saplings of yours that will look to you to guide them in the ways of love and the ways of the world. It’s just that simple. Like the gardener who always has a new crop of challenges of weeds and insects, sunny days and cloudy, you will have your own unique set of circumstances to grow your seedlings into a bountiful harvest.
Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo have provided us, your family and ours, with the greatest horticultural guidebook for raising human crops this world has ever known, second only to the Bible. In their foundational work, “Parenting from the Tree of Life”, Gary and Anne Marie describe the imagery of a healthy lawn compared to an unhealthy one. In the healthy lawn that is watered regularly, fertilized appropriately, mown often, and enjoyed continuously, the occasional weed doesn’t stand a chance. It might poke its unwanted head above ground for a moment, but the likelihood of it taking over an otherwise healthy lawn is remote. It might stay a while or it might be plucked out, but the lawn itself isn’t in danger. Conversely, the unhealthy lawn whose bald patches, shallow roots, and uneven attention given it seemingly invite noxious weeds whose insidious nature is to multiply in uncared for terrain. A weed strewn lawn is not a pleasure to behold and feelings of shame is spread instead of fertilizer.
A lawn thrives on a foundation of rich soil and is tended carefully in the early years. But as the lawn matures, its fragile existence is replaced by a robust one. And so too with children. Children want to grow and learn. The human horticulturalist learns the nature of each living thing so as to feed it the appropriate diet of love and fun, challenge and encouragement, growing and mowing.
This lawn analogy of the Ezzo’s really is brilliant. It captures the natural aspects of the grass seeds wanting to be a part of a thriving lawn and the gardener needing to do what is necessary for that to occur. The analogy speaks to the idea that the likelihood of weed infiltration is only as strong as the lawn is weak. Terrible Twos? Doesn’t exist. That’s just the natural energy of growth expressing itself in curiosity and independence. Fearsome Fours? Nope. That’s just the confidence arising from the competence derived by mastering their known world. Rebellious Teens? Doesn’t exist. That’s just the expansion of their understanding that mom and dad are not all-knowing and the world of peers satisfies their increasing awareness that mankind is a social creature. The weeds of each era are small compared to the loving care provided by the gardener in a child’s life.
This description of the lawn has several intended takeaways: 1) A child wants to thrive as a function of his/her very nature. 2) There are weeds. And bunnies. And voles. And mites. And drought. That will ever be so. 3) The human horticulturalist’s vision, tenacity, growing skill, imperturbable calm, and unrelenting will can overcome the elements. And lastly, 4) You are not alone. Without the enormous maturity and incredible insights of the Ezzos, the Marr family would not be the lush green lawn it is today. Without our community of friends, found and developed at church, most learning together under the Ezzo model, the Marr family assuredly would resemble the weak lawn. Without the critical belief that God exists and has blessed our family beyond our ability to articulate the ways, the Marr family might not even be a family.
And now hopefully you can see our motivations a bit more clearly. To take the gardening analogy a bit further: When you come upon an Almanac of soil development, and planting tips, and watering cycles, and fertilizing principles, and vermin extermination techniques, and you follow it – What do you do when it works and works magnificently? Well, you do it again. And again. And then you live by it and swear by it. And you start telling other people about it, “Hey, check this out. This is awesome! The harvest we’ve had is unbelievably fulfilling and rich. You should try this too”. This is why OneFamily exists – to encourage and support people about human horticulture and this Almanac we found.
From our family to yours and, we hope, from your family to others – let the blessing multiply.
To an abundant harvest,
Lis and Dave Marr