Summer!!! Gotta love it! Doesn’t that recall memories and create images of warm summer nights relaxing around the pool or play field with nary a care in the world? Playing with friends, drifting from day to day where every day is the weekend, Fourth of July and midsummer, watermelon, bathing suits, bare feet, endless games with friends, sleeping in, later nights awake, visiting Gramma and Grampa, family vacation, and hanging out with the siblings. Does it get any better?

A good question that arises for debate is how much structure is appropriate for the summer months? Should you regulate and schedule the days so as to not “waste” the time and let the brain go dormant or should you “just let them be kids while they can”? Of course, there’s no one single answer and each family must tailor their answer to the child and the family dynamics. However, here are some thoughts worth discussing during couch time.

What’s the goal? By even bringing this issue up as a topic for discussion, you’ve already decided to be strategic with the 10 weeks of summer. What do you want to get out of this vast blank page of your child’s life? Anything physical, mental, social, behavioral, spiritual? Do you want them to get ahead for next year to give them confidence? Do you want to see their personal habits improve by making the bed, taking on a new chore, improving their grooming habits to be more consistent? What issues is your child facing?
Marrs: We had overall objectives that were loosely held. We wanted them to read more. They each had sports, friends, and each other to take up their time.

Wake time and bedtime: Should you impose maximums and minimums? If school time is out of the house by 6:30, is it ok for them to sleep till 10:43 every day? Can they stay up till 11:00 every night watching TV? If your child is required to be up by 7:30, what are they going to do with that extra time? Getting up early just to do nothing might be a struggle.
Marrs: We relaxed the school norm but didn’t let all control go. Though we didn’t have a set wake up time, Lis would begin the call around 8:00 to start stirring. Bedtime stayed roughly the same as the school year unless there was a specific reason to relax it.

Is boredom ok? Are you required to fill their every waking moment with fun activities? Is their summer just a different burden on parents to keep the party going?
Marrs: Boredom is important to their development. We didn’t want to fill the time for them or allow electronics. Boredom sparks creativity, electronics quells it. So, when they complain that they’re bored, you can offer chores as your solution to encourage them to come up with an alternative. However, electronics should be GREATLY reduced or eliminated entirely in the summer. This will be tougher on you than them, so be strong!

How many sleepovers are ok and how many are too much?
Marrs: Our kids had their friends sleep over as well as reciprocating at their house. This was with people we knew very well. We knew their parenting style, and we knew all the siblings. The issues then were different than the issues are today. Certainly, safety and cultural fit were foremost in our minds. There are many positives to letting children come spend the night, but there are issues that could arise. It’s best to weigh the benefits and the risks on any given situation so as to be prudent, but not excessively fearful. This is the formula for pretty much everything going forward.

Game night. Each week on Sunday nights each child can pick a game to play.
Marrs: We played lots of cards (taught the kids Cribbage early which is a great math skill-builder) and age-appropriate board games.

Family sports
Marrs: This was huge for us. A gajillion hours of football in the street and backyard. It really brought out the competitiveness in the kids that caused many an argument. But that created opportunities to learn to play fair, get upset and learn to calm down, forgive, and play on! Great fun. Pick-up games of baseball or softball with friends or neighbors was also a favorite. Kids and adults often made up the teams.

Hikes
Marrs: Nature hikes, which are abundantly available here in Colorado, were a favorite. We’d pack a lunch and hike to a spot in the mountains and make a day of it.

Forts!!!
Every child wants to build a fort in the house and in the back yard. This stretches their creative and engineering abilities. Awesome fun.
Marrs: Remember to turn off the sprinklers set for 4:00 am.

Summers should be relaxed fun with vast expanses of time to enjoy childhood. Without losing the idea that you can structure in learning, behavioral goals, intellectual requirements, and chores into the mix. If you haven’t done Couch Time in a while, decide that you’ll do it at key times of the year so you can be strategic in your approach to the coming events of life – like SUMMER!!!!

To your family’s summer enjoyment,

Lis and Dave

P.S. Here are a few brainstormed ideas in no particular order to help you in your Couch Time efforts:

  • 4th of July “bike parade”
  • Running through the sprinklers
  • “Camping” in the backyard – tell stories and have s’mores
  • Build a fort
  • Build a tree house
  • Create Plays/musicals and perform for the family
  • Write a story and read it to the family
  • Pick-up game of baseball or flag football
  • Frisbee golf – create your own in the neighborhood
  • Scavenger Hunts
  • Ride your bike to the pool
  • Have kids help make dinner – both prepare and cook
  • Sidewalk chalk masterpieces
  • Grow a garden from seeds
  • Sign up and run a race together
  • Find a charity your family wants to invest in and pick a goal of how much and how you want to contribute to that charity
  • Vacation Bible School
  • Summer camps
  • Storytime at the library
  • Historic Museum
  • Go rafting
  • Go camping
  • Go rollerskating
  • Museums
  • Imax theater at Museum
  • Backyard movie
  • Miniature Golf
  • Concerts in the park
  • Alpine Slide
  • Pony rides, easy hikes, crafts, spelunking etc. Go rock climbing
  • Pick your own strawberries and raspberries
  • Geocaching
  • Go to a Rodeo

Make memories this year. Don’t put it off!