Adventure. Doesn’t that sound exotic? Since Lis is from Sweden, travel is part of our family DNA. Adventure brings new sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and experiences. We traveled to visit Lis’ parents every other year and took the opportunity to explore other countries. The stresses of travel can be pretty taxing on young and old alike, so attempting a family culture of adventure-mindedness requires behavioral preparation.
Our children were expected to participate in our life, not us cater excessively to their childlike tendencies. After all, the parenting goal is to disciple your children into functioning adults. We desired that they be good life companions who endured the discomforts of travel, the newness of different tastes, and the sensational sights and sounds of different cultures – all at a young age. In essence, we wanted them to be open-minded with a positive expectation given the variety of life.
The key here is to be open-minded with optimistic expectations. To encourage that mindset we coined the phrase, “You gotta try before you cry.” The phrase over time became the family motto when confronting something new that the kids might consider unappealing. In other words, “You’re not getting out of eating this without giving it a hearty go. You might as well set your mind to liking it.” With practice, the kids would not only eat that questionable morsel, but do so with positive expectation. And that was a huge difference-maker. They didn’t have to eat the whole thing, but they had to try their darndest to like it. And of course, it wasn’t just about eating. One will encounter all manner of newness that must be met with an open spirit.
Isn’t that what you want from your children? You want them to look forward to their life with eager anticipation where every new experience is going to add to the richness and enjoyment of life. Just because they didn’t end up liking it the first time, it’s ok. They’ll get another shot at it at some future point. “Gotta try before you cry” isn’t a one and done idea. No, they’ll get to try again next time because at that point they’ll have grown, life will have changed, and the experience will be different. “No one steps into the same river twice. Try again.” It’s important that their little personalities don’t get cemented around the pattern of “I don’t like that” which could end up defining them as closeminded and risk averse.
The result: We are pleased to say our kids are not afraid of life. In their early adult life, adventure-minded perspectives live in the next generation. They’re open to new foods, of course, but also new people, new ideas, new life scenarios. The takeaway here isn’t in just reading about how wonderful we think our kids are, but really assessing the difference between an open spirit and a closed one. Life offers adventure where it’s normal to pull back with anxious anticipation of the newness, but each person must be encouraged to give it a hearty open-minded effort before they cry about it. Design your family’s culture to have an open spirit of adventure.
To your family’s Adventure-minded well-being.
Dave and Lis Marr
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