January 7, 2018 Dear Journal, Kash and I reached a low point in our relationship yesterday. I screamed “shut up!” at him, which shocked him, and the littles. And hours later, he repeated it and told me to shut up, which threw me into a spiral. My temper has manifested in ways I am ashamed to even document on these pages. Why do I do it? Why do I lash out? Kash mirrors my behavior [...]
Blah. Blah blah. Blah. Blah, blah, blah! This is the sound or noise that children, spouses, and friends hear when we try to communicate during times of conflict. Meaningful conversations and effective communication never occurs when people are angry, frustrated, exhausted, feeling defensive or mentally preoccupied. You cannot teach a child the principles of self-control while they are having a “level 10” meltdown in the grocery store. Nor can you discuss marital issues (parenting, finances, [...]
Having a healthy and thriving family begins with a health marriage. We believe that the marriage relationship should be the first priority within the family structure… even before our kids! In today’s society, there is constant pressure to put our children first above EVERYTHING else in the family environment. This misguided prioritization can ultimately lead to child-centered parenting and even divorce. Don’t get us wrong. Our children are a top priority. And just because we [...]
One of the many concepts we love from the Parenting from The Tree of Life class, is The Potato Principle. Derived from a dining experience and shared by the Ezzo’s ministry associates Don and Karen Kurtz, The Potato Principle speaks to the idea that we can become fixated on the flaws at the expense of looking at the overall good in our child’s behavior. Have you, your spouse or your children ever thrown out or [...]
In all the curriculum that we lead parents through, the concept of CouchTime remains as one of the most impactful tools we discuss. Over the years we've had many parents ask us to provide more insight regarding CouchTime. So we thought it might be helpful to provide a little more detail regarding the why, when, where, and how of CouchTime. Why The Benefits of CouchTime for us were numerous. First of all, it got us [...]
"Hey Dad, can we talk for a minute?” “Sure, what’s up?” “I need to bring something up that’s an issue that is delicate. It’s about Mom and my wife.” “Ok, I’m listening.” “Well, I need to start by saying that I love you very much. I enjoy getting together and sharing my life with you. To see you playing with the kids and how much joy it brings you and Mom and them, it truly [...]
“Every day is Valentine’s Day!” is the usual quip Rich jokingly says to Shelly EVERY Valentine’s Day. Yet, joking aside, it does lead to a very important question. Are you intentionally expressing your love on a daily basis and is it being received effectively? Or is it only intentionally expressed on special occasions… like Valentine’s Day? Simply saying “I love you” every day is nice, but sometimes it’s meaning can easily become diluted and be [...]
"Be patient, be a good listener, be consistent..." these are just some of the more common “top parenting tips” you'll find when searching around the Internet. And we would agree with many of those tips. However, we thought it would be fun, and encouraging, to provide you with our top ten parenting tips that have most impacted us over the years. 10) Have fun and enjoy your kids – It was very easy for us [...]
Shawn and I were beginning to feel desperate. Disagreements with each other were becoming more frequent and our kids’ behaviors were spiraling out of control as a result. We couldn’t seem to get on the same page when it came to parenting tactics, and truthfully, neither of us had a clue what we were doing. Differing, and often unspoken expectations about the way we were brought up and therefore the way we should be parenting [...]
When you close your eyes and imagine what a thriving family looks like, what do you see? A quality home environment filled with encouragement and harmony? Husband and Wife on the same page and enjoying their relationship? Children laughing and enjoying one another and excelling in their development? Wonderful and meaningful holidays and vacations? Whatever vision you hold of what a thriving family looks like, do you see that in your family? Building a healthy [...]