With the election one week away, one thing is 100% certain. A lot of people are NOT going to be happy! And guess what? That’s ok. We all understand that disappointment, frustration, anger, and disillusionment are a part of life. But how we deal with these emotions, and manifest them, can critically impact our lives and the lives of our spouse and children as we mentioned in our Emotional Expression letter. Learning to properly manage [...]
Blah. Blah blah. Blah. Blah, blah, blah! This is the sound or noise that children, spouses, and friends hear when we try to communicate during times of conflict. Meaningful conversations and effective communication never occurs when people are angry, frustrated, exhausted, feeling defensive or mentally preoccupied. You cannot teach a child the principles of self-control while they are having a “level 10”meltdown in the grocery store. Nor can you discuss marital issues (parenting, finances, in-laws, [...]
We believe that the marriage relationship should be the first priority within the family structure... even before our kids! In today’s society, there is constant pressure to put our children first above EVERYTHING else in the family environment. This misguided prioritization can ultimately lead to child-centered parenting and even divorce. Don’t get us wrong. Our children are a top priority. And just because we prioritize our marriage before our children, that doesn’t mean they suffer [...]
The Howards are HUGE football fans! In fact, we’ve had Denver Bronco season tickets in our family since 1968. With the 2016 pro football season kicking off this Thursday (a Super Bowl 50 rematch!), we are reminded of a coaching philosophy that actually transcends many areas of our lives. It’s the idea of playing to win versus playing to not lose. In football, there is a particular strategy that some coaches use to protect the [...]
How many times have you said that during the course of your parenting? What about these parenting classics: Don’t make me stop this car! How many times do I have to tell you?!?! This is the last time I’m going to tell you! If you be good for mommy and daddy, we will give you… I mean it this time! The reality is, we’ve all said these phrases many more times than we would like [...]
At a time when our marriage was at a fork in the road, we discovered 2 important things that helped our relationship immensely. The first thing was Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages (here’s a link to take the Love Languages Test). This well-known concept that people grow up giving and receiving love through these 5 modes of love was absolutely revolutionary for our marriage taking it from a 6-7 rating on the happiness scale to [...]
Spread thy close curtain, love-performing night, That runaways' eyes may wink and Romeo Leap to these arms, untalk'd of and unseen. Lovers can see to do their amorous rites By their own beauties; or, if love be blind, It best agrees with night. Come, civil night, (Juliet awaits Romeo to come in the night and describes in Elizabethan language metaphors for sex. Act 3, Scene 2: Romeo and Juliet) Sexual intimacy evolves. Passion highlights the [...]
Let’s pretend that this true story is typical of marriages. We’ll call the wife Lis and the husband Dave just for convenience sake. This marital drama developed over many years long before children arrived. It started out happy, took a turn for the worse where arguments were not uncommon, then righted itself into a ‘happily ever after’ scenario. The story starts as they typically do identifying threads of meaning long before the players come on [...]
ROMEO If I profane with my unworthiest hand This holy shrine, the gentle sin is this: My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready stand To smooth that rough touch with a tender kiss. JULIET Good pilgrim, you do wrong your hand too much, Which mannerly devotion shows in this; For saints have hands that pilgrims' hands do touch, And palm to palm is holy palmers' kiss. ROMEO Have not saints lips, and holy palmers too? [...]
It’s wedding season. A recent nuptial at a beautiful location south of Denver captured the fantasy of many a blushing bride. The location was pastoral perfection, the weather ideal, the ceremony handled with the right balance of solemnity, humor, and emotion. It really was enjoyable to watch the couple exchange vows, the participants and parents hold back tears, and the attendees dance the night away. A dream wedding. Today’s letter is the first part of [...]