In the first segment of Dodging Tragedy – Thoughts on How to Avoid Self Harm, we discussed factors that played a role in our son feeling isolated and depressed. However, the deeper contributing factor were well entrenched feelings of shame that ultimately manifested in the question of ‘to be or not to be’. Time alone for a person that has yet to develop self-control or gain understanding on the ways of being human can be [...]
When our youngest son was in high school, he contemplated suicide. The length and seriousness of those thoughts aren’t definable, but that he had them in our family is not just a statistic to us. We didn’t know that he felt isolated and depressed, we only heard it in an offhanded way many years later. We asked his permission to write about this topic as a gift and a warning to you. If you’ve read [...]
This week our youngest son Alex is moving into his own apartment in a new city, a new state with a new job. It seems just like yesterday we were dropping him off at college, setting up his dorm room… and driving away. Now here we are, just 4 years later, with college graduation in the rear-view mirror. Looking back at all the many years of heart training, setting the moral standard, instructing the countless [...]
As a new school year is quickly approaching, there are seemingly countless items to do to prepare our kids for the year ahead. There are conversations that need to take place as well. Among the more important conversations, a meaningful discussion about friendships should be at the top of the list. Are you comfortable with your children’s current friends? Is your child choosing to be friends with others who are a good influence on them [...]
In our Encouraging Courage (Girls) Letter was a neat little message that had clear edges and the takeaways fit the title where we came away looking like competent parents. But life isn’t always so cut and dried. Encouraging the heart can often be vague platitudes that miss the mark and confound parents and frustrate children. That was the case when dealing with our son Kevin whose sweet spirit was occasionally a puzzle to us. Dave’s [...]
These Letters are intended to provide you with whatever insights we have gained over the last 30 years of parenting and marriage. Our perspectives are not comprehensive, just intending to spark thought on how to take your parenting and marriage to the next level of effectiveness. There is so much to say to you which we hope is instructive and encouraging, perspectives we wish we had ‘back in the day’. We had to figure it [...]
In the last 2 installments of Dad the Spiritual Leader, we attempted to introduce the notion that spiritual leadership isn’t just adherence to traditional notions of going to church, reading the Bible, and leading the family in prayer. Rather, an engaged Dad should get major credit for living out Biblical principles when fully engaging with each member of the family and taking on the responsibility of his role. The last bit of part 2 left [...]
As parents we are often faced with having to discuss difficult topics and issues with our children. Whether it’s school violence, a family illness, the loss of a beloved pet or a death in the family, the depth and breadth of such topics can leave parents overwhelmed as to how to navigate these challenging waters. From our own experience, we’ve found that these tough topics are best addressed in three distinct ways: In the moment, [...]
Another basketball story. The two brothers, ages 11 and 9, are close. They homeschool together, live well south of the Metro area in rural Colorado. But like brothers, they occasionally compete and tussle, make up and have fun. These two are probably best friends now and will remain so the rest of their lives. But that isn’t a foregone conclusion. Their competition and jealousies could expand and get out of hand; their hard feelings remain [...]
When our boys were about 6 and 4 years old we began a new family tradition that helped us engage in meaningful conversations with them. Little did we know when we started how this tool would create many wonderful memories, help us communicate more effectively with our kids and take our parenting efforts and relationships with each of them to a higher level! One of Rich’s favorite memories growing up was visiting his grandparents and [...]