When our boys were about 6 and 4 years old we began a new family tradition that helped us engage in meaningful conversations with them. Little did we know how this tool would create many wonderful memories, help us communicate more effectively with our kids and take our parenting efforts and relationships with each of them to a higher level! As we head into Christmas and the New Year, we are excited to share that [...]
You are teaching your children how to be – to act, to speak, to think. For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he. - Proverbs 23:7 As a Man Thinketh - James Allen Let no corrupt communication proceed from your mouth but that which is edifying and ministers grace to the hearer. - Ephesians 4:29 We are programmable biologically to where the brain gets wired differently when we are bathed in [...]
The idea that you’ll raise your children the same, each receiving equal amounts of your time, energy, money and intangibles is a commendable idea, but unrealistic. Equality certainly should be true as it pertains to your love and your moral guidance, but the simple truth is that love is often perceived by children through the allocation of limited resources. Consider the scenario if you have 3 children in sports. A boy might be gifted in [...]
Emotional control or self-discipline is being able to manifest the appropriate expression of our emotional state. Our ability to manage our emotional responses is a lifelong skill that can define our character positively or negatively. Anger, frustration, and disappointment are a part of life as a child and as an adult. There will always be times when these difficult emotions happen, but how we respond and express ourselves is the key to emotional maturity. When [...]
When you were a child, did anyone teach you how to properly greet a neighbor, a friend or a guest? How to accept a compliment or what the proper behavior should look like at a restaurant or when friends come over for dinner? If so, did you know why it was important that you show such courtesy and respect? One practical piece of advice that has served us well in our parenting is to Role Play [...]
As much as we enjoyed Halloween, we were always glad when it was behind us. Sure, we enjoyed many aspects of trick or treating like the time a 4 year old Elvis impersonator came to the door and said, “Thank you. Thank you very much” in his deepest little voice. But, with all the fun and excitement, there is also a certain kind of craziness that is driven by the childhood narcotic – Candy. It’s [...]
“You’ve got a bad attitude” Dave’s dad would say. He apparently looked at the facial expression, the demeanor, and behavior and determined that Dave wasn’t measuring up to some standard he had. That clearly was the takeaway, not measuring up. But what was the standard? What was the attitude supposed to look like? And by declaring a “bad attitude”, what was Dave to do differently? It was never made clear. Kevin, our son, was a [...]
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” - Mathew 7:7-8 The door to your child’s spirit is seemingly closed. Their behavior is not in alignment with your wishes. Their tone in dialogue with you is conflicted and bordering on disrespectful. Is [...]
“Ok, bud. Get on the chair and we’ll play a game that will show you something that is really, really important to Mommy and Daddy. It’s called Trust. Climb up there and I’ll show you.” Each of our 3 kids went through this exercise at around 4 or 5 years old. The barstool stands 3 feet off the ground, so the height is very intimidating. “Ok, put your hands by your sides and close your [...]
Communication is when the thoughts, ideas, and emotions within a person are effectively re-created in understanding within another person. Perfect communication would be a 1:1 event which rarely occurs, particularly in exchanges with children. Using words, for example, a parent would ask a child “Bring me the small red ball” out of numerous colored balls of differing sizes. And if the child sorted through and picked out the small red ball and brought it to [...]