“Can I ride my bike to the park with Ryan?” “No, not today sweetie!” Starting during the toddler years and continuing all through the adolescent years, there is a parenting tendency that seeps into a child’s psyche and deeply influences their motivations, efforts, and even their very personality. As parents we brought our own upbringing into the marriage and needed to get on the same page when providing answers to our children’s request. Lis grew [...]
If we’ve learned anything in the years we’ve lead parenting classes, it is this: The parenting process is a series of relational transitions. In our Parenting Phases letter, we described four stages and the relational phases: Birth to Toddlerhood – Discipline Phase Toddlerhood to Childhood – Training Phase Childhood to Teenagers – Coaching Phase Late Teens though Adulthood – Mentoring/Friendship Phase It’s often difficult for parents to transition through each of these phases and make [...]
“Ok, bud. Get on the chair and we’ll play a game that will show you something that is really, really important to Mommy and Daddy. It’s called Trust. Climb up there and I’ll show you.” Each of our 3 kids went through this exercise at around 4 or 5 years old. The barstool stands 3 feet off the ground, so the height is very intimidating. “Ok, put your hands by your sides and close your [...]
With Mother’s Day approaching, Shelly reflects on four areas from her motherhood journey. _____________________ I feel truly blessed and grateful for the journey I’ve been on with Rich in raising our boys, now 23 and 21 years old. We were in our mid-thirties when Trevor and Alex were born and we thought we would be great parents. We quickly discovered all the ways parenting was going to challenge us. As a mom, the experience has [...]
When looking at your child’s behavior, have you ever considered their emotional health? Certainly, there are many factors that influence emotional health, but over the years we have seen many situations were focusing on your child’s love language can greatly improve their overall disposition and behavior. You've probably heard of The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts, by Gary Chapman. Or perhaps you took the test as a part of a pre-marital [...]
Of all the expressions of unwanted behavior that we encounter during the course of parenting, Whining and Temper Tantrums seem to span all ages. Toddlers and Teens resort to whining when they don’t get their way, just as 3 year olds, 4th graders and high schoolers can all throw temper tantrums when they get frustrated. Unfortunately, you may even notice this behavior in adults as well. With all the COVID restrictions and spring fever in [...]
When we took our first parenting class, our boys' behavior was not characterized by First Time Obedience (FTO). In fact it was after the very first parenting class we attended, when we picked up our boys from childcare, that they immediately proceeded to run around in every direction away from us. Our embarrassed calls and pleading for them to come to us were definitely not obeyed. As parents, during that time, we relied on a [...]
This is an actual (paraphrased) exchange Dave had with our 16-year-old son. If you are using the Funnel philosophy (Parenting from the Tree of Life – Gary and Anne Marie Ezzo) on how to provide freedoms to your children, this is how it played out at the Marr house. “A teen rebels not against authority, but against relationship” (Ezzo). As a child grows, parenting philosophy on why decisions are made should be transparent and spoken aloud so they [...]
With Valentine’s Day coming up, we want to offer you some practical ideas regarding love for your family. Love can be expressed in a multitude of ways and it’s the greatest gift we can offer our spouse and children. Here are three thoughts we continue to focus on in our marriage and family. Being intentional with these things has changed who we are as a couple and who we’ve become as a family. Our Marriage and [...]
To your children, God looks and acts like you. They will come to define God’s love based on how they have experienced your love. Their self-worth will be based on that definition, a love that finds the right balance of words and actions to coax and mold appropriate behavior and effort. Their life is a divine journey of discovery guided by you. And for those parents who understand the depth of this blessing, they recognize [...]