If there was one idea, one thought, one technique that if practiced regularly would eventually take your marriage to a 10, your children’s wellbeing into the winner’s column, and your life to enriching heights, would you incorporate it? Seems obvious when stated so clearly, but what is ever that clear? If you’re like every other person on the planet, you are a work in progress. Which means to say that you are more mature than [...]
Una de las habilidades más poderosas que puede enseñarle a su hijo, que aumentará inmensamente su probabilidad de una vida madura, equilibrada y feliz, es la habilidad del perdón adulto. Hemos hablado en estas cartas sobre el perdón de la infancia, que es una base importante para mantener las relaciones y no ser agobiado por un corazón pesado atado por sentimientos de dolor en los primeros años. Es fundamental dejar ir el dolor y superar el incidente. [...]
One of the most powerful skills you can teach your child that will immensely increase their likelihood of a mature, well-balanced, happy, life is the skill of adult forgiveness. We’ve talked in these Letters about childhood forgiveness which is an important foundation for maintaining relationships and not being burdened by a heavy heart bound up by feelings of hurt in the early years. It’s foundational to release the hurt and move past the incident. Imagine [...]
As parents, it is a challenge and a blessing to provide the language that our children will use as the building blocks which forms their thinking structure. If we use constructive words, words of life, and positive reinforcement words when we encourage, then those are the concepts that will form their reality and the development of their character. Here are 2 concepts that have helped us with our children to develop their internal thought processes that affected their [...]
Every other week the Howards, Shelly and Rich, and the Marrs, Lis and Dave, trade off writing a OneFamily Letter with the intent to nudge, influence, educate, support and, in small part, come alongside women and men who are hard at work in the job of life. On the whole, life can be…well, complicated. They don’t teach parenting, marriage, or being an adult in school. It is true that a small misconception of how “things [...]
You are teaching your children how to be – to act, to speak, to think. For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he. - Proverbs 23:7 As a Man Thinketh - James Allen Let no corrupt communication proceed from your mouth but that which is edifying and ministers grace to the hearer. - Ephesians 4:29 We are programmable biologically to where the brain gets wired differently when we are bathed in [...]
The idea that you’ll raise your children the same, each receiving equal amounts of your time, energy, money and intangibles is a commendable idea, but unrealistic. Equality certainly should be true as it pertains to your love and your moral guidance, but the simple truth is that love is often perceived by children through the allocation of limited resources. Consider the scenario if you have 3 children in sports. A boy might be gifted in [...]
“You’ve got a bad attitude” Dave’s dad would say. He apparently looked at the facial expression, the demeanor, and behavior and determined that Dave wasn’t measuring up to some standard he had. That clearly was the takeaway, not measuring up. But what was the standard? What was the attitude supposed to look like? And by declaring a “bad attitude”, what was Dave to do differently? It was never made clear. Kevin, our son, was a [...]
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.” - Mathew 7:7-8 The door to your child’s spirit is seemingly closed. Their behavior is not in alignment with your wishes. Their tone in dialogue with you is conflicted and bordering on disrespectful. Is [...]
“Ok, bud. Get on the chair and we’ll play a game that will show you something that is really, really important to Mommy and Daddy. It’s called Trust. Climb up there and I’ll show you.” Each of our 3 kids went through this exercise at around 4 or 5 years old. The barstool stands 3 feet off the ground, so the height is very intimidating. “Ok, put your hands by your sides and close your [...]