To obey, to be obedient, gives an impression of subservience to authoritarianism.  You can just see in your mind’s eye an image of an imperfect authority dictating commands and requiring mindless adherence. This totally offends the popular mindset of today. And of course, said that way, sure, mindless obedience seems like an intolerant, narrow-minded, prejudiced preacher, like in the movie Footloose. In fact, OneFamily was rejected by an online parenting app because we professed value [...]

Zig Ziglar said children spell love T-I-M-E.  We remember how hard it was when our boys were young to carve out time for them as we juggled work, housework, working out, errands, quiet time, kids’ activities and the list goes on.  We did a lot of things with and for our kids, but the truth is that’s not the same as giving them time. With the spring activities gearing up, it’s important that kids know [...]

In our Five Minute Opportunity letter, we discussed the idea of creating an environment that helps one successfully submit to parental instructions through offering a window of compliance.  There is a mental and emotional shift that occurs during those five minutes. Similar to that idea, a dear friend of ours shared with us a pearl of wisdom she had heard in a sermon at her church and how she creatively applied it in her family [...]

Adventure. Doesn’t that sound exotic? Since Lis is from Sweden, travel is part of our family DNA. Adventure brings new sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and experiences. We traveled to visit Lis’ parents every other year and took the opportunity to explore other countries. The stresses of travel can be pretty taxing on young and old alike, so attempting a family culture of adventure-mindedness requires behavioral preparation. Our children were expected to participate in our life, [...]

Last week Lis and Dave shared a terrific letter on How to Impact Your Child’s Attitude. We learned that attitudes, positive and negative, often reflect and reveal what’s in one’s heart. Reaching the heart of our children is every parent’s desire.  It is teaching them the How, the Why and the Way of God from whom all virtue flows and to impress these things upon their hearts. “Love the Lord your God with all your [...]

At the intersection of Nature and Nurture stands a child’s attitude. Clearly a child is born with a temperament that influences the way in which they receive information. Their unique personality immediately coloring their own experiences to some degree, large or small. A baby’s joyful openness or colicky restraint seemingly foretells a life to come. How can parents influence a child into a positive mindset that will establish a ‘Can-Do’ perspective, open to new experiences, [...]

Your most enduring accomplishment is the trusting and loving relationships you have with your spouse and your children. What you do each day at home matters. Even the simplest acts of love, kindness and respect have the power to affirm everyone in your home and set the tone. Every day, even if you don’t feel like you’ve accomplished anything, you and your spouse are creating a family culture and legacy that builds up a child’s [...]

When you send your young child over to play at a neighbor’s house, what kind of games will the older brother be playing? Will your child be treated with a parenting eye that you would approve of? What kind of treatment will the younger kids get from older siblings? Does your child’s friend have their own smartphone? Will the time be spent playing games or spent on social media? What kind of activities will be [...]

Let your love be stronger than your hate or anger. Learn the wisdom of compromise, for it is better to bend a little than to break. Believe the best rather than the worst. People have a way of living up or down to your opinion of them. Remember that true friendship is the basis for any lasting relationship. The person you choose to marry is deserving of the courtesies and kindnesses you bestow on your friends. [...]

Before your child is 10 play this mental game: “Grab a live chicken. Got ‘em? Ok, now pluck all the feathers off the chicken. Get in there and pull them from the wings, the back, the tail. Get ‘em all. They all gone? Ok, now, put all the feathers back on the chicken.” A plucked chicken is good and plucked. Some decisions are irreversible. We played this game, and our adult children remember it. Here’s [...]